His Will

Hello and hello, to you and you and yes, you over there.

How are you my doves? Silence…I think i’ll just stop apologizing for not posting because I’m that repeat offender.

However, Is it too late now to say i’m SORRY?

wait what was that? What do you mean? You forgive me?

Well, then…HELLO from the other siiiiiiiiide.


I’m well, and I hope you are pretty dam(n) good….OK…I Quit, don’t go. I’m done with the wordplay. :D

Today’s post is a touch different from my usual…There’s going to be a bit of a Godly undertone focus in this one. I’m a Christian, it’s no secret but I’ve realized very recently just what the words I speak mean to myself and to others.

You see, we lose loved ones with every passing day and as much as we say try to empathize with another when this fate befalls them, when it’s your “turn” the experience is much more different. Even with that said, it really doesn’t matter the number of people you lose, each passing is a completely new experience altogether.

I digress, even with topics like these I still deviate my focus.

help me


Anywho, as stipulated earlier there’s a different element at work here.

Being Christian, the number one prayer everyone learns and holds close to heart is the Lord’s Prayer(Matthew 6). We’ve been reciting these few lines day in day out from when we were young. We repeat them faithfully when called upon to say this prayer. We say it with such speed and haste sometimes that it becomes another routine as Christians.

Get it over and done with then we move on.

We know the words by heart but do we really know them?

The other day, more like the other month (been sitting in my drafts for a minute as usual), I was going through the usual motions of saying the prayer during a church service and midway, it hit me.

This one line hit me over and over and I just stopped to internalize it, to reiterate it, to believe it.

….May Your Will Be Done On Earth As It Is In Heaven….

You see, we say over and over yet when events and trying moments check in, we begin to ask questions and wonder out loud about what God’s plans are.

I’m prone to doing this more than I care to admit. But on this one random Sunday in the middle of this prayer it hit me.

Do I really understand it when I claim His will be done?

Do I really want His will to be done?

What is His will? Is the calling back of his servants considered one of His wills? Hmmm….fully unexpected and unprepared? Is the emptiness left behind His will? Are the tears we shed, part of His will? Are the plans we made to be with our loved ones, are they in His plan?

No matter how many times I say this line, I feel like I gain a different understanding of it with each and every new time. I internalize it in a different way. I take it in independently from previous interactions with it.

Is it just me?

With time I have realized that when we speak it, we need to be ready to live it. If you want His will to be done, then accept it when it finally comes…whether you understand it or not.

You learn to live through the curve balls life throws at you. We call them curve balls but they’re simply His will at play. You need to realize that you’re strong enough to endure it; some days may be better than others but it’s how you choose to survive through these worse days that matters.

You're strong enough

You’re strong enough

We don’t always agree with His will but we live by it, live through it, and live with it. C’est la vie. Yet that’s the hardest tid bit to accept.


I’m an advocate(Tihihi…) for making plans. A select number of people know just how many plans I come up with over the course of a week really. I always hope that my plans are His will. Sometimes when you make the most elaborate plans, note everything down to a tee and it doesn’t come to pass, you chalk it down as a fail because this went wrong or that so and so wasn’t on board but the reality really is that it is not our will that is being done.

“Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will
go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on
business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know
what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are
a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.
Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will,
we will live and do this or that.’ As it is, you boast
and brag. All such boasting is evil.”

James 4:13–16

Maybe we’ll learn to accept the things we cannot change and be grateful for the precious moments, always.

Never too quick to get angry at Him but to understand that we’re not our own; but we’re God’s pieces and He makes the rules of this game called life.

So chin up, it’s always revealed in good time.


Some Tupac for this round:


Until next time,

With love and love and positivity about God’s will,


*Mapenzi.Love* :)

thank you

My Circle (3)

Hello Bosses.

*See what I did there? I spoke life. You can’t come at me for calling you guys bosses because you’re a boss whether you acquiesce to the title or not.

It’s been a minute non? I’m sorry. I have a valid reason but whether you’ll get to hear it all simply depends on what therapists would call a healing process.

I hope you’ve been alright for the past…what has it been 2 months?

Happy October guys. The year is almost up and for some heaven on earth reason, I’m really looking forward to the end of this year.

We’re at the third instalment of Circles non?

My Circle (1) was about knowing yourself first.

My Circle (2) was in a nutshell about the people in your circle.

And here we are about to get into My Circle (3)…

does this remind you of those series that have never-ending seasons? ….


My circle is great.

My circle is powerful.

My circle is real.

I’ll be going into a bit about support systems.

What does your circle do for you and what do you do for them?

I’ve been having the most conflicting emotions about people lately. I was having a weird and completely random heart to heart with one of the radii to my circle(i really do crack myself up more than is considered normal). So in this heart to heart, I talked about what people do when you need their presence and they keep coming up with excuses as to why they can’t make it.

**disclaimer: some of these views are a mix between what people have told me and what my people have been told in such situations.**

I have literally heard them all.

Number one being: I just haven’t found the time. I keep saying I’ll come by but something else always comes up.

So many people said this to me and my response was always, thank you for the concern. You can’t keep telling people that something came up, yet you won’t say what that something is. Personally, I would want to hold a grudge for years and years about it but I realize that it’s such a bother to waste yourself getting annoyed about such matters. Sometimes, you need to evaluate people. You may hold them close to you but they keep you at arms length. Is there anything you can do to change that? Not really.

Just don’t expect an outcome from people who never show that they’ll be there in the long or even in the short-run.

Instead, thank them for at least taking the time to communicate with you. It really is the least you can do. Because you don’t think about it, but it actually does hurt you more if they remain quiet rather than at least make an effort to talk to you.

If someone comes into your life

Also, are you one of these? I admit, to some people I may be a touch off-handed with them. It’s easier to think that by remaining mute, that they won’t realize it. Once again, life is a never ending book of lessons and with this in mind, I’m learning to pick up the phone more, shoot people a few messages every now and then, ask for schedules so we can link up if not for food, then just so we can see each other and believe that we’re not just alive, but we are living.


The common phrase tends to be >> I’ve got your back like a bra strap <<

bra strap

Well, have we looked at the uncertainties of the different types of bra straps?

(How much of a coincidence is it that this is being said during Breast Cancer Awareness month? It has nothing to do with it but it’s an interesting observation, non?)

Transparent straps:

Does this mean that you’ve got my back even though you know I don’t know that you’ve got it? Wait what? English is such a tricky language though. What I think I was trying to put across there is that are your supports transparent?

In the sense that they’ll only support you when noone else knows? Ergo, they don’t want to be known to support you?

Also, it can be taken in the sense that they simply don’t want you to know they’re helping you. One of those guardian angel type friends. They only come around when they know you really need them. I have a couple of these in my life. I love and appreciate them more than they think I do. The random Positive Vibes messages show it.

I should think I act the same to certain people as well.

It’s a give and take world. What you take from one person must be given to another in one way or another.

Normal straps(the ones you can clearly see):

These are the people in your circle who support you and it’s known to everyone who you interact with often. The ones you mention and spill almost all your nonsense to on a daily/often basis. They won’t only show up


Well, they don’t show it but they’re there. They’re the band that keeps you together I should think. The extra row of elastic that’s there; giving you an illusion of you being able to do it all by yourself but still push their support especially when you don’t know it. The type to randomly ask you if you’re fine, even after you haven’t spoken in ages. It’s as though there’s a connection and signal in the universe that they grasp onto and happen to text you jsut when you’re feeling out of it, tired, beaten down, finished. And the best part of it is that they give you hope. They remind you that it gets better.

The point here is to be able to show support when you’re needed to and to be shown the same concern and support.

bless the friends

For a while, we all want to suffer in silence.

We all want to feel like there’s nothing that can be done to alleviate the feelings running wild in our beings. Truth is, nothing can take them away really. Noone else feels exactly how you feel. Noone else comlpetely understands what you’re going through.

I guess I could term it as being unique yeah? We’re all different human beings regardless of how we are connected, we still have different hearts, minds, bodies, souls and the way our mind works, the way our rationality is set up is completely different from another person.

As always, people always ask me why I smile when everyone else is down; Why I try to lighten up the mood when someone else is asking for comfort…


I guess what I’m trying to put across here is that when you’re trying to support someone, don’t play the empathy card, don’t play the “It happened to me too and this is how it felt”….because as I mentioned, we process things very differently. When people are going through a rough patch, be the light and not the surrounding shadows. Be the wick that can be lit rather than the wax that holds the wick up.

But I guess, to each his own, non?

thank you

Support is everything in this world. I hardly realized it but with the way life sets you up, one way or another even the most independent people need someone who’s got their back.

We all want someone to say / show that they’ve got your back.

And I know it’s hard when you’re falling down
And it’s a long way up when you hit the ground
Get up now, get up, get up now.

Love and Love,

From a cool corner of Nairobi,

From a young girl trying to earn her wings,

*Mapenzi.Love* :)


My Circle(2)

So i’ve had a moment of deep and serious epiphany right now….Why didn’t I call that first post: My Circle(1) _______A Semi Circle? Sigh. I’m hopeless, non?

But it’s heeeeeeerrrrreeeeeeee. The moment sorry post you’ve all been waiting for.

One two, make a circle,

three four, a big circle.

A big circle like a sufuria.

*Memories anyone?*


In the last post there was a lot about knowing yourself yeah?

Now i’ll delve a little into the world of those in your circle. I can’t tell you what steps to take to choose because it’s life my dove. You need to navigate the ocean of people to catch the yacht before it drifts away with your essence in it.

(Don’t ask me to elaborate my sayings, just acknowledge that they’ve been said.)

The other day I went to a Creative Shindig called Fatuma’s Voice…stop drop and roll. I knew there was spoken word out there but yooooo!!!!!! A whole new level was discovered that eve-night.

The relevance of this statement isn’t for “my life is cooler than yours” shenanigans. It’s the people I came across that are of substance.

I found like-minded people, a select few that I wouldn’t mind getting together for deeper discussions about life and all that it has to offer.

Who is in your circle?

joel osteen

1. Do you have similar goals in mind?

You need to figure out whether or not these elements of your circle have a similar goal in mind. This doesn’t mean that they need to be studying to be great lawyers just like you are or they want to be brilliant hackers so you also need to understand the deeper layers to Java and C++ just to be in their crowd.

I’m talking about success.

Are they motivators or demotivators at the right time? Would they let you know how hard they are working to achieve a certain goal? Are your conversations also inclusive of what you’ll be doing once you graduate and not just about how much you need to go out for a couple of drinks because it’s been a while?

Do they openly tell you when they think an idea you have in mind isn’t going to add up to much and if so, do they give an alternative or do they just tell you “You’re going to fail” and walk away leaving you down in the dumps?(I shall share more about this in a few paragraphs).

Do the elements of your circle only talk about their dreams and how they wish they had certain things yet they do nothing about it so many years down the line? I’m not saying dreams are not valid(seriously, check out the post about dreams, HERE-It’ll be ours) However, there’s a difference between daring to dream and dreaming to dare, the steps you take toward achieving your dreams are what count the most really. I have a friend (a couple of friends actually) that have dreamt of being pilots since they were younger, and the steps they’re taking to get to that level, yo! The validity of Dreams is only palpable in the direction of your actions.

2. Does your circle put you down in order to build themselves up?

surround yourself

Recall the statement about negative comments/ criticism somewhere up there? Let’s deal with it.

They say that “You know you’re doing something great when there’s people trying to dissuade you from pursuing it.” This can clearly be taken out of context but humour me for now.

I know there’s people we keep in our lives just because of the length of time we’ve known them for(Don’t shamelessly ask me about how I had earlier said that I form ties for life). Some of these people are the “Let’s see if she’ll fail type”. Sad but true.

If you have people in your circle who constantly bring in the negative. The nagging conscience that never brings any good fortune afterwards. The type that see you as competition, in what race? I have yet to figure it out but competition no less.

How long will you let yourself be put down just so they’re comfortable?

I call it comfortably toxic relationships.

There’s only so long you can go with blocking their thoughts and comments out but do you want to end up regretting it a few years down the line after you’ve missed countless opportunities to grow? Because we are aiming to grow I should hope? To be better versions of ourselves each day.

I read this post on one of my random, few and wide in between, facebook browse-capades(not a real word but deal with it). It was about a girl, I think, who has a friend that verbally attacked her and when an observer was offering her comfort as she shed her tears of hurt, all she said was that “It’s OK. She didn’t mean it.” (Found it: Elizabeth Gilbert authored this little tale…so if you have the time and patience, do check her Facebook page for interesting posts that focus on life and living it.)

How coincidental is it that I spotted that just as I’m compiling this post about circles and semi-circles?

Point of all this is that, if you have to keep coming to someone’s defence for how sourly they treat you, then my dove, is there a point to keeping that negative energy in your life? Error is to human just green is to the leaves of a tree but even during the summer, these same leaves turn yellow and brown….so you shouldn’t stick to the errors of your ways.

let go

3. Do you allow yourselves to grow?

I keep repeating the same words: growth and energy. I hope I don’t sound like a broken record here.

In life, the social nature of a human being dictates that there will always be a desire to change; be it yourself, your career, your mind, your life, your friends. So it only goes to predict that somewhere along the line, a rift can show up in a friendship when this desire comes along. Would your circle allow you to spread your wings and be part of yet another circle? Or will they pull a “No new friends” / “It’s them or us” or shun you when you let them know about the other circle?

you can't sit with us

You can’t sit with us

(first off dear internet, who did this? secondly, how cool is this?)

Do circles make you a better person? Do they tear you down before building you up? Do they act as a barrier between yourself and the growth potential that is budding within you?

(p.s remember multiple parts aka series vibe I have going on here…do expect another i.e. the finale of this My Circle series soon.)

Second instalment. Watch this space my doves.

Hellos and How are yous…I skipped this at the beginning. I’m sorry *hugs*

**The Circle of Life***

From a cool little corner of Nairobi,

with love and love and friendly vibes galore,



My Circle (1)

Hello my doves.

Temporary hiatus over…dealing with life is kinda difficult non? But alas, we gotta do what we gotta do.

How are you all?

Amazing and filled with positive energy I hope? Cooler than the frosting on my cupcakes is what I am.

I’ve been reading about this alot really. My eyes just happen to be drawn to these articles about friendships and living life and circles and I figured, it’s a sign. I’ll write about it and see how that goes. So, here we are.

Happy July my doves.


A circle is defined in the dictionary of the English language as:

noun: circle; plural noun: circles; noun: cir.; noun: circ.
a round plane figure whose boundary (the circumference) consists of points equidistant from a fixed point
  (the center).

It can also be defined by “us new-age kids” as the people who you surround yourself with…which coincidentally, is also in the dictionary as follows:

a group of people with shared professions, interests, or acquaintances.
“she did not normally move in such exalted circles”
synonyms: group, set, company, coterie, clique;

**This is not turning into English 101 so please, calm your body organs.

Jim Rohn said that You are the average of the 5 people you spend most of your time with.



Like I said, I’ve been reading all about company lately. Pretty interesting and eye-opening articles that are bookmarked, read and consequently deleted or forgotten.

foolsaccompany fools

To figure out your circle, you need to clear up a couple queries:

~Who are You?

You know in order to make friends, you have to sell yourself to someone in a certain way. We all know about first impressions right? The impression you give off, determines who gets roped into the attraction game of friendship.

I attended a class that talked about the 30 second elevator pitch. Basically, you’re in a corporate environment and you happen to get onto the same elevator as the CEO of the company. With an average of 30 seconds till you get to your floor or their floor, what information can you give up to leave a lasting impression? A friendship basically starts on the same grounds I guess. You have a few seconds of eyeing each other up before even one word leaves your mouth…Will what spews from your mouth be enchanting enough to drag people into your life or repel them?

My body is attracted to your body but when you speak, my brain gets angry

My body is attracted to your body but when you speak, my brain gets angry

How do you culture the right circle? Actually, how do you culture the right anything? Know Yourself first….or rather, know your 4 selves as I had stipulated in an earlier post, HERE. The beginning of a union starts with one person; that person needs to at least have a semblance of themselves before getting into the union.

think to be

~What type of energy do you project?

This goes hand-in-hand with the “Knowing yourself”.

If you constantly think negative or do negative things, then you attract that exact energy towards yourself. Ever wonder why sometimes when you feel pushed beyond the threshold of what you can acceptably handle, and you think about not being able to succeed, you start to notice the little things the people in your circle do that lead them and are now leading you to a certain end? Sorry, did that make any sense? In simpler terms, negative attracts negative just as positive attracts positive…*ignoring all you physics majors…life isn’t physics bro. Don’t give me that opposites attract narrative.*

When you’re positive, more so in your thoughts, you start to notice the compliments, you start to take in the brightness of the sun even when there is an absence of warmth, you begin to realize that there’s more than enough things in the lives of those in your circle that you need to appreciate more often.

Also, you realize and can clearly identify what you want from a friendship and what your circle wants from you.


~Short term? Long term? Term?

What are your short term goals? What are your long term goals? Where do you see yourself in five years?

Sorry, I was watching Think Like A Man today and these lines are stuck in my head.

Any who, realize that some circles have a shorter lifespan than others. It’s always up to you to figure out just what that span is. I’ll take the example of guys who drink. You have probably changed drink-circles enough times, because at one point or another you realize that hey! this is not one to last for after this round, or after this period.

Always know the lifespan.

I’m a friend lover. I tend to insist that once were friends, you can’t get rid of me. I’ll be around you in whatever capacity. You can’t start something with the notion that it won’t last because now that you’ve sent it out to the universe, then it won’t last. It’s like doing an exam and thinking about how you’ll fail, well it’s no surprise when you do fail even though you had made the effort to study. Your mindset controls everything you do.

Always figure out when it’s time to sever ties even when your heart doesn’t feel up to the task. You don’t sit in a sinking ship because you know you can hold your breath under water.

_____End of_____

______Part One______

This is a multi-part kind of post.

A circle holds so much information. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket they say. >>Irrelevant maybe<<


In the meantime, here’s that lion king jam that gives you all the good vibes:

***The Circle of Life***

From a cool little corner of Nairobi,

with love and love and friendly vibes galore,


*Mapenzi.Love* :)

Celebrate the Little Victories

Hello lovely readers.

I feel like we have bond of sorts, non?

MAY I ask y’all a question?

…all pun intended there.

How are you guys? Amazing I hope?

I’m good…could be better but i’m good either way.

So how are your Maydays coming along? Are we checking what we’re eating? Or have we abandoned ship already. I’m snacking on a slice of banana bread(read cake) and a mug of apple cinnamon infusion as I type this…ps. there’s a cheddar chicken bacon sandwich calling my name once lunch rolls around. Surprisingly, I’m always eating in the office. My workmates have come to realize that I’ll always have a snack in my bag…an apple, peanuts, cashews, chevda…I’ve got the stash. And then I bought the kettle,,,so it’s all about that apple cinnamon tea whenever the desire hits.

Anywho, that’s not the point of this one.



When you’re a perfectionist / have slight OCD like myself, it’s all or nothing. If something doesn’t come to pass the way I envisioned it, it’s a fail really, in my eyes though.

So here’s people calling me and telling me that I’ve done a good job and in my mind I’m thinking, it could have gone so much better than this. Remember that post about being your own worst enemy? Well, it’s a hard habit to kick.

Why would you celebrate the little victories when you can await the so-called big deals?

Go big or go home. But what if the bigger victories are slightly further off?

You’re about to have bacon? Are you going to get worked up over not having steak or are you going to be excited and throw a mini bacon party?


It’s the small wins that pave way for the bigger victories. (with reference to the bacon  and steak example)

Celebrate Good Times Come On!!…*breaks out a dance move, pops hip,,,sits down and taps foot against floor*

My mom tends to insist that you need to appreciate the little things before you’re capable of getting the bigger deals.

It makes sense in a way actually.


So guys, do celebrate the smaller doses of good tidings. It’s all about recognizing how far you’ve come from when you started out.

On the random days that I walk home from work,,,you should see me timing myself…10 minutes from points A-to-B, 15 minutes to junction-C, 10 minute power-walk from junction-C to the estate-D, 2 minute half walk-half sprint to the house-E. All timed using the music on my playlist… One time I did all this in 7 songs(p.s that’s about 28 minutes)…I could feel the fitness dreams budding me…then I bought a packet of masala fries and that was that. I celebrated with food. :p

If the big things in life tend to disappoint you, why not turn to all the less consequential goings-on instead?

Take the measure of the small stuff, and string all those little joys together to create your own little corner of good vibes.



1. Your mood goes all the way up.

It’s such a boost to your current mood. To recognize that you’re a step ahead of where you were yesterday.

2. Your self-esteem tends to be impacted on positively.

We all know what happens to ourselves(mind…remember the four dimensions of the self from the last post) when we are constantly put down yeah? So why not believe in the opposite but to limit it so that it doesn’t reach out to the extremes i.e. You having a big ego(am I the only one who sang that in tune with Beyonce??)

3. You get motivated to carry on.

When you pat yourself on the back at the end of each step or stride you make, you tend to believe that your goal is now within your reach and you are now at liberty to go for it some more.

4. You deserve it.

Well, you put in the work, lost a couple hairs from your head, missed a couple hours decade of sleep, so now that you’ve come to the rewards part, go crazy. You did the crime, so take the time….pretty sure that’s not how that goes but hey! I’m celebrating here and you can’t tell me nothing.

5. Just because.

I know, this isn’t too valid…much like the “Because I said so” but hey, why give reasons when you want to feel accomplished.

P.s this has had me jamming in the office since yesterday….woohooooo!!!!!

There’s a party goin’ on right here
A celebration to last throughout the years
So bring your good times and your laughter too
We gonna celebrate your party with you


(notice the cupcake photo…thanks google, you read my expectations and came through pretty spot on)

From a cool corner of Nairobi,

with love, positive vibes and victory cupcakes galore,


*Mapenzi.Love* :)

What You Feed Yourself

Hello my lovelies.

I hope you’re all amazeballs and if you aren’t, get yourself a cupcake, pat yourself on the back and say “I’m doing a good job”.

I, on the other hand, am over the moon. You know those things that you never think could affect you but once the hurdle has passed, you feel as though your load is ten times lighter? Well, I’m there. Clearly, I’m behind on this results bandwagon non? Guys checked theirs a couple of weeks back but due to me never having time or maybe I was stalling, I’ve only just checked for them online.

Shall we do this final year and show them how it’s done then? (P.s yes, I survived). You know you’re in Varsity when the instead of doing well, you state that “You’re Surviving”.

So that’s what’s up folks.


This has been sitting in my “maybe” pile for a couple of weeks now but I figured its time had come.


Have I talked about this before?

Well, if I have, it probably revolved around something completely different from what I’ll spill on this post.


1. Yourself = Your Body

(p.s. listen to Micasa- Your Body)

What do you eat?

As I write this, i’m snacking on an Avocado, tomato, cheese and ham sandwich, sipping on some lemon-orange infused water.


I’m not about to tell you to do healthy things or start gyming today.

I’m simply being aware of the things that I ingest my system…Granted that I bake enough cakes and pastry to feed a small village.

There’s certain things that you eat and afterwards you wonder whether your brain will really function afterwards…Ugali does it for me…One serving and my brain shuts off…seeing only sleep in its path. If you want to be active, I think you should know by now just what keeps your brain juice going right?

My sister eliminated wheat from her diet…I’m sorry, I can’t do that. Not when my love for chapati and pastry reigns supreme. She’s a tough one that’s for sure.

There’s certain things you consume and if your warning signals light up…maybe it’s not such a good idea then?

I’d go into drinks and beverages but alas….this is not one of those fitness pages…YET. *Kidding….not really but kidding)

2. Yourself = Your Mind

This is more like it.

I keep reiterating that I’m a Positive Vibes enthusiast.

I’ve come into so many amazing results simply because I told my mind that every little thing, is gonna be alright(Hey Nesta).

If your mind is filled with positivity, and your being is  surrounded with positive energy, then there’s no other reason for unnecessary disappointments. Granted that God is playing a role in your life, then I think you’re good to go.

Stop with the negative thinking guys, because only negative things will sprout from that.

What thoughts do you let flow through your mind space?

Do you constantly look to another’s destruction?

Do you loathe another’s success or well being?

Do you want another’s downfall?

What do you put in your mind?


3. Yourself = Your Heart

Do you know what pumps into your veins? I know we may or may not remember the little biology about oxygenated and….well let’s skip the recap.

Do you feel love for a being because you are loved?

You know you can only dish out what you receive,,,give out what you get, receive only that which you dish out.

So does your heart give off the kind of vibes that you want to receive or have been receiving.

I’m pretty sure you’ve seen a couple of people who put up a certain facade and after a while when the real them turns up, you wonder what on earth is happening. Well, that’s because at one point or another, the facade gets too difficult to hold up; the facade fades.

So what do you feed your heart? A boatload of positive emotions I should hope.


4. Yourself = Your Soul

As a christian, I genuinely believe that God exists and he’s the owner of my soul. There’s always a desire to be better than your brain can quantify, to live for a being greater than yourself.

So my soul is a big deal. If there is an afterlife, then how do I want to spend it? See, you can only take care of your afterlife in the present life. What steps are you taking to ensure that your soul is intact/in good enough condition for the time when you’re returning it to sender?

Regardless of what deity you worship, you believe that there’s a greater meaning to life than simply surviving here on earth.

Am I that cheesy blogger that’s overselling this positive vibes shenanigans?

If you think so then do let me know and I’ll see how to handle that.


***Ugali – A maize-meal dish we have in Kenya that’s a bit like the Nigerain fufu for all my non-locals ***

That’s all from yours truly.

Here’s a cupcake because i’m all about what I feed myself.


From a cool corner of Nairobi,

with love, positive vibes and cupcakes galore,


*Mapenzi.Love* :)

What makes you tick?

Olla my lovelies.

As always, i’m late at this…blame it on writer’s block…or it’s because anything I’ve put down the last couple of tries didn’t have enough soul to it.

I’m a perfectionist or I have slight OCD…so if something doesn’t look right…and it’s the work of my hands then I don’t feel it proper to share with anyone else. Like when my cupcakes backfire, i’ll bake more until I get the perfect batch for selling…well,,,perfect in my eyes.

I’m one of those guys that would probably go back and correct an assignment…long after I handed it in and received my grade. It’s a good and yet bad thing but such is life I suppose. C’est ma vie,,,et ma vie est belle.

Oooh…where are my manners? How are y’all? Good Awesome Amazing Extraordinarily Enjoying life? I do hope so.

Well, Writer’s Block? Bye Felicia.

My better half conscience constantly reminds me to upload content on the blog. So here we are now…finally figured out what to write.


Not as impersonal as you think....here's my wrist guys

Not as impersonal as you think….here’s my wrist guys

Tick? No not that blood sucking pest( which reminds me…do you remember that PowerPuff Girls episode that had that weird thought-sucking villain?)

But yes, tick.

To tick…if taken literally based on the workings of a clock…means to move.

So my content is mostly going to be based on trying to figure out what makes people to be moved to do something, to reach out, to strive to succeed…to live.

I asked this to le workmates recently and seeing as they are IT people,,,few words were exchanged. But I generally figured out what made them choose to code and deal with software, hardware and technology.

One said,

“I want to fix things. I figured that seeing as I can’t fix people, then i’d rather fix something non-living. If I can sit down for hours taking apart and putting together a computer, over and over, I cultivate my skills of being patient enough to deal with people.”

The other one said,

“I like challenges. If I work on something that won’t cause my hands to get clammy or my thoughts to go on overdrive…why should I do it? I do it because it’s proven to be an interesting challenge.”


When you surround yourself with people who know what drives them, don’t you get inspired to express your own driving factor?


They say passion is the greatest driver of them all.

He drives with such elegance and intensity that it’s pretty difficult to ignore his bulky frame when he steps into your thoughts. He takes charge where it matters and takes you to the edge…(yes, we’re still talking about Passion).


so ticks huh?


– Am I comfortable with what I am doing?

This doesn’t necessarily always mean settling for less…or giving up on striving for something because an easier option came up. It’s basically about finding an interest in the path you’ve chosen. So Are you comfortable with what you’re doing?


What are your short term goals? 

  What are your long-term goals?

– How much could I have?

What is your end after all the work and struggle?

Is it your degree?

Is it the amount of money in your account? If yes, then in order to get to those 10 digit balances, how much work are you willing to put in and without giving up the second things start looking up for you?

If it’s in the pursuance of your dreams…are you willing to put your life on hold albeit for a little while to see it through? You suddenly keep getting free tickets to stuff and networking events just a few weeks before a deadline…would you attend?

Allow yourself to dream about how much you could have, decide whether you are ready to have that and then go for it.

in the end

– What motivates you?

Umm…Kelly Rowland is not an appropriate answer here.

As a human being, there’s always a million and one things running through our minds at any given moment.

Let’s do this…as you read this, think about something that happened that awakened a need to do something or follow through to the end…

Think about it and how it got your brain juice flowing. > Remember the post about dreams? <

And then, think about something else that made you feel like quitting just as soon as you started…What about it put you off that much?

There’s a drive, a tick that was there in the motivated one that is missing in the other scenario, yeah? If you could figure that out and tap into that potential…would you? If you found out that yeah, this emotion or this item makes me want to achieve something,,,you would grab it and never let it go I assume.


– Have I done enough for myself?

Ok…this is almost starting to look like some self-help blog, non?……..back to the question at hand.

I’m a huge advocate for discovering what makes you feel discontent.

  • Figure out what leaves your successful leap not seem as amazing as you would have liked.
  • Discover that which makes you yearn for something else.
  • If you could do something more than is expected of you, would you?

I have mild OCD of sorts therefore, it’s very difficult to sit back and be completely satisfied with the things I give out. (As I pointed out in the beginning of this piece) With this great power comes great responsibility. The desire to be discontent with everything I do or feel…it’s great you know.

To reach past that self-disapproval and accept my own creations…it’s a challenge that I’m not sure I’m willing to overcome.


Last Question:(Surprise,,,i’m a woman human and we always have a lot of questions to ask given the chance)

– What really makes you tick?

You need to know what you want to do in order to properly respond to this question.



So guys, what  makes you tick?

You should think about it, take a second…matter of fact you should take four.

Let’s stop doing things for the mere sake of doing them but let’s do them because we really crave the achievement.



From a cool corner of Nairobi,

with dreams, and desires and cupcakes galore,


*Mapenzi.Love* :)



Olla muchachos. :) :)
You’re doing well i should hope? still basking in The Afterglow non?


I should be studying but look where I am…tihihi.

Figured the blog needed a little loving…

So, what better way to appreciate my brain child than with recognition?

I was nominated by one of the coolest and sweetest poets i’ve come across just yet. Her name’s Meg from Dream Chasing: The Revelations and she’s such a barbie doll it’s insane.

Anywho, the internet apparently wants us to appreciate female bloggers outchea(Female bloggers stand up!) and it came up with the Sisterhood of the Bloggers award.

So in honour of this(Momma we made it), I’m supposed to answer a few questions to the best of my abilities and understanding….and in full honesty.

BUT First lemme take a selfie lemme nominate a couple sweethearts and dimes whose blogs i just so happen to follow:

– Mal Kanini(There’s two cool ladies behind this one btw) of Heels, Hearts and Heroine

– Barbie Abwoga of The C-Word| No not contraception, cancer

– Michelle Nyakiamo of When Life Changes

– Nyambura Murigi of Wake Up and Smell the Coffee

– Gathoni of Pickles in Jars

– Wangechi of justwangechi’s blog

p.s as you can probably tell, there’s so much to how you name your blog that draws in readers and allows you their guaranteed loyalty. :) check these examples of good bloggership and know why they’re currently bookmarked on my browser. We’re all amateur writers but alas, our fingers can put down into writing what our minds try to project.

p.p.s To the Lovely bloggers nominated, copy paste the questions and answer them in your own point of view. Tag the blog so I get to read them as well.

Back to the situation:

If you could be any animal, what would you be and why?

Haaah! Because as a human being i’m not already an animal?(Dear Biology, did you lie to me? ) Anywho, I’d pick an eagle. I love how strong and independent they seem. I’d have wings to fly around and see the world from way up there…i’ve been down here for so long it would be nice to discover the true birds eye view. An eagle embodies strength and resilience(at least to me).

Plus, have you seen how gorgeous an eagles face and beak structure is?


What legacy would you like to leave behind?

That’s a good question. (Beyonce fans in the house say what!) Legacy? well, something that I’ll leave behind because the life that I live will someday have to be returned to sender? Ok. see how pretty difficult this is to answer? As I beat around the bush…call me George…might be from Georgia haha. I would really love to leave my positivity behind. The memory of my thoughts and words should spread and let it be known that there was a girl that wanted to dispell the negativity that surrounds every nook and cranny of this world that we live in; to try and bring in as much positive thought and action; that though may be unknown to many, imparted some warmth into their hearts and minds.

Name one thing you love about yourself, why?

One thing only? Sigh. Such vain beings we are. I love love love love love my mind. I’m not a materialistic person per say, I can’t say that I love my body because it’s prone to change; I can’t lay a claim on my face or anything of that sort because of the same reason. But my mind. It’s a wormhole that even I at times find difficult to understand. In this mind, I’ve build an entire empire; that has my goals, desires, weaknesses and strengths all panned out. In this very mind, my dreams are conjured and from the last blog post(it’ll be ours) you know why dreams are important and are ever so valid.

What would you like to change about yourself or improve on?

My perception of myself. Once again, it trickles down to my mind. This very mind that knows all my strengths, also knows all my so-called weaknesses. If I could put a lid on the negativity that involves talking down to myself or ultimate disapproval. But to each his own I suppose. I try get around this anyway because it’s such a pebble in a field of rock.

If you could fly for a day, where would you go?

To the one who undoubtedly holds my heart. If I could, I would. But seeing as that’s slightly far fetched and mysterious, i’ll settle for Morocco. My dad has told me stories about how amazing their culture is, how welcoming they are generally, the FOOD, the breathtaking beauty that is Marakech, full of life, colour and pompadour. I would really travel here in a nano-second if travelling were free.


If you could have supernatural abilities what would it/they be?

Supernatural lovers I see you. :)

I would once have said mind reading but I realised that there’s a certain peace of mind that comes with not knowing people’s thoughts all the time.

Now, I would really want to have the power to be a medium. There’s so many people I know that would simply love to have a link to someone who’s passed; to tell them “hey. I miss you” or “I’ve been doing this with the aim of making you proud, am i getting there” or simply to feel as alive as they once did when that person was roaming the earth among us. Now that’s my superpower.

Where would you like to live? Why?

I would like to live where the weather is always perfect. Not too much rain, nor too much Sunshine. A place where my heart is content and I can call home. But in reality, take me to Marakech OR Trinidad and Tobago(thank you Nicki Minaj for this insight into Trini…)

If you could meet anyone, who would it be? {past, present, future}

[past]My mum and dad when they were younger. The love they still show all these years later makes me want to have met them before it got this far, to see how amazing they were at living…to laugh at my dad’s fro an ‘stache and glasses and steal clothes from my mum’s wardrobe.

[present] My nephew. I miss Nate. :( :( but besides that, it would be awesome to meet Brad Lau aka ladyironchef (http://www.ladyironchef.com/) because he does travel and food so well.

[future] My 35 year old self…so she can tell me that it’ll turn out fine. That these struggles aren’t in vain.

Why do you blog?

I blog because I want to leave a digital footprint that I’ll come back to when I’m older to simply remember. For my kids to discover and finally agree that I indeed was cool “back then”. Besides, all these thoughts need to be written down somewhere so why not share it with the world; the known and the unknown.

Would you consider yourself happy?

Happiness is such a fleeting emotion. It cannot be measured as you would measure the amount of sugar you need for a batch of cupcakes(hint hint). There are moments when I can agree that I am happy. For now, we can agree that i’m simply satisfied with what life is offering and the steps i’m taking. Satisfaction is pretty a kin to happiness.

Talk about straight from the heart answers huh? Now you’ve had a glimpse into the mind that is mine. I’ll see y’all soon. I can study now.

Happy third Birthday Blog…I’m five days late but I had to make it big. :) I can’t believe it’s been three whole years though. THREE years…that’s 36 months, 1095 days, 26280 hours, 1576800 minutes, 9460800 seconds…

to me

To more years of writing out my mindspeak for you my amazing readers.

From a cool corner of Nairobi,

with dreams, and desires and cupcakes galore,


*Mapenzi.Love* :)

It’ll be ours:

Hello lovelies.

I’m here…come back please?

Where have I been? School and then some, and baking cupcakes…p.s. they’re the best you’re yet to have. *blows own horn*

That aside,

I missed your precious*insert gollum’s voice here…my precioussss* souls. I honestly hope that you’re amazing.


Have you had a dream or a vision of something you want to achieve or have or see?

Have you ever thought about what life would be like if the universe set out all your ideals before you?

Have you ever imagined just where you’d be if your wishes were fulfilled?

What life would be like if you never had to struggle?

If your thoughts were never in disarray?

Your desires were satiated and you needed nothing?

Well, I have.

You may say i’m a dreamer.

A creative? Maybe.

But haven’t you also wondered what it would be if you didn’t have to struggle?

If love come to you as easily as the words “mama” and “papa” to a child?

Would you be happy then?

I don’t think so. I know you won’t be happy.

You see, We’re designed to always search for more,

Hunt for the deeper forms of satisfaction.

Desire to share in the world that is ultimate happiness.

Feel incomplete the further we get away from our ultimate end;

But don’t get me started on how amazing it feels to take that step in the right direction.

You may say i’m a dreamer.

My dreams are a painting.

I’m hard at work all night to achieve the greater success that my heart yearns for.

The material(things) is good yes, because I need to survive.

But what is to survive if you’re not really alive?

Alive? You’ll insist that your heart is beating innit?

And to that i’ll pull out your seat, get on it and have a listen.

You may say i’m a dreamer,

Thankfully I know now that the heart beat doesn’t really mean i’m alive.

It means that i’m responsive, my body functions okay.

Hell, i’m even breathing in the right way.


But it’s still doesn’t mean i’m alive.

So here’s a couple of diamonds in the rough,

To be alive it means;

//To have a genuine smile on your precious face;

To be alive it seems;

//You have to love in an innocent way;

To be alive not in dreams;

//You take the chances that even after trying you could never ace.

To be alive, the world deems…

It fit  : to mean not surviving,

            : to mean not going through the motions and expecting a different outcome,

            : to desire to live beyond the now and the current,

            : to chase your dreams above and beyond.

So are you living or are you alive?


Somewhere in the dream we had an epiphany
Now we right the wrongs in history
No one can win the war individually
It takes the wisdom of the elders and young people’s energy
Welcome to the story we call victory

(Isn’t this jam such a motivating piece of awesome collaboration? Get’s your blood pumping, with patriotism, with a sense of belonging, with a new found belief in you dreams.)

p.s. If you click on the “dreamer” that’s highlighted, a couple of interesting lyrical surprises might pop up.

From a cool little corner of Nairobi,

With love and life and #PositiveVibes,


*Mapenzi.Love* :)


Hello darlings.

How are you? third week into the year treating you good, i hope?

Figured I’d give you guys a little something out of my thinking box.

You know how you say certain things and then realize about a year ago(hahahaha), well, “I wouldn’t have even dared utter such atrocities”.

Back then, it seemed as though you would never have gotten to the level at which you currently are in.

As usual, I love doing evaluations; both of self and of the people I interact with.

So  I did a self-study.

I decided that like the observer I tend to be most times, I would sit back and take note of any key changes in my circle and its surrounding halo.

You know they say that to grow you need to live.

Again, don’t ask me who said these things…I’d obviously just chalk it up to the “Wahenga na Wahenguzi ambao hawakuchana nywele zao na mifupa ya samaki waliposema….” *Inshas were my forte though…those primary school 38/40s and high school 25/30s…*

>>loosely translate that to mean “The wisemen didn’t comb their hair with fishbones for nothing when they said….”<<<

I digress. Is this a habit? If it is, i’m sorry…not sorry.

Back to the point.


julia cameron

We go through life holding onto the negative emotions from past experiences. We deal with things now with the notion that if something happens then you’ll be pushed back into that state of worthlessness that you were trapped in, in the past. You can’t go through life tied down to the past. I know it’s said that your past shows your character but to be honest that has no link to your now and your future.

Your past is simply that, your past. No-one can control the past because time moves, life goes on. So if life goes on, who are you to defy the universe when it blatantly offers up a blank slate with each new day? In what capacity are you to insist that a past mistake, a past hurt, a past relationship, will define your today and your thereafter? I believe in the desire to use the past to measure where you are at the moment. I really do. However, most of us tend to focus on a negative aspect.

I’m a jaded lover. With a “history” of interesting lovers and friends, one could easily say that I’m incapable of normal. I learnt to let go of the hold I’d willingly given to my past. That supposed hurt I associated with certain people or certain things, that anger that I tied to something. My excuses. My excuses were immeasurable and innumerable. I realized that I associated certain emotions with past experiences.

So guess what? I learned to let go.

How? I told the universe that I don’t need that energy in my mind. I don’t need that link between things that bring up such negative emotions.

I desired to cut ties…with all the lies that I’d been living in(if you don’t where this is from then i don’t know what music you listen to).

I concluded that I’m above my emotions. I control them not vice versa.

First step, forgive yourself. I realized that I berated myself majority of the time. I was my own Debby-downer. I was my own wet blanket. So I forgave myself for being so unfair to myself.


On this note, isn’t this song so fitting?


I need a little space in my mind,

I need that little hope I can find;

I need to feel my soul come alive,

I need to feel the strength to get by,

I need a little faith.



Next, make amends and distance yourself. The way a doctor would insist that you shouldn’t pick at a scab until it completely heals over. I did this until I was confident enough in my own brain’s ability to not revert back to the previous state.  I took a step back from basically all the relationships…friendships, that is, that I had. I took a step back to reevaluate them. Sifted out the unnecessary and I’m proceeding to mend the ones I clearly want to have.

Thirdly, positive vibes.

I spread these like wildfire to be honest. If it wasn’t in the simple complement of people appearance, it was of the fact that I noted people’s auras more. There’s those that illuminate their surroundings and those that suck out the colour from theirs. I accept compliments. (Which reminds me; someone asked me why I like compliments so much. I realized that if you like how something is, why not pay it tribute of sorts? If a flower smells divine, then won’t you speak your mind about it? If someone seems to have put in the effort, why not appreciate it? ) You’ll never be truly happy if you focus only on yourself.

greatAnd lastly, live.

Survival was my thing. Possibly still is, in the right situation though. I went through the motions. Eat, survive, sleep, repeat. I decided one day to open my eyes to what really happens around me and I haven’t looked back since.

Experience new things. Get out of your cocoon / bubble. Mingle. Share. Love. Experience. Cry. LIVE ALREADY.

Life is such a questionable irreplaceable gift that once you lose it, it’s gone.

Bloody live.


It’s not turning into one of those inspirational blogs…but hey, even if it does, your opinion is a menial addition to my thought process.

Appreciate and celebrate growth.

Appreciate and celebrate life.

Are we still basking in The Afterglow like I am?

*images courtesy of google.com*

(p.s. it’s almost February…some major hints being poured here)

From a cool little corner of Nairobi,

With love and life and #PositiveVibes,


*Mapenzi.Love* :)