Lemons and more Lemons


Hey there my doves.

I hope you’re well and trying to stay warm…for those of us on this amazing continent…but for anyone else, enjoy the sun for me. Nairobi’s sun has been elusive for a long minute.

Anyway,

Lemons tend to be are bitter…so we must look for ways to sweeten them like a good deal. You know? Caramelize them in sugar syrup, ehhmmm,,,sprinkle them with powdered sugar, bake using lemons to give you some amazing cake. See where I’m going with this? And no, this isn’t a tutorial or recipe post so just calm down.

Lemons.

Referring to my previous post about “When Life Gives You Lemons“, i’ll add a few more lessons on here.

Apparently there’s a positive side to loss.

Aside from the obvious change in perspective and finding a new lease on life…there’s a positive side.

What death has taught me?

Togetherness. Be it with the family or with friends and acquaintances. Through death I have learned that bonds tend to be formed with the remaining people. You grieve together, you bare yourself to one another, you find strength in one another’s vulnerability. You grow and get through the motions together. It builds and repairs so many broken relationships because you all finally realize that there’s no point in showing animosity of any form when life literally can just fall through your grasp, right in front of your eyes.

I found strength in my parents and my siblings in a way that I had previously ignored. You learn to be the shoulder that the folks lean on…You see a certain vulnerability in people’s eyes that may at first shake you to your core but eventually you take it in and bask in the new ways to  bond that result from this thing we call death.

togetherness.jpeg

What death has taught me?

The mind is a strong strong strong tool. You can stare death in the face and still come out of it. You can stare into someone’s cold eyes and question so many things in life but in the end, the mind finds ways to cover up the death with new life. The mind can determine just how you get through someone’s passing. I learnt to alter my mindset to positive thinking. In the time I spent tuning my thoughts to seeing the positive side of things more often than not, I realized just how strong my mind is. It was as though my brain had figured out something would put a wrench in its works soon so it had to build up its strength.

That bad gut feeling is scarier than most. In the days before my brother finally came to the end of his journey in this life, I had some serious bad vibes checking into my psyche. You realize that sometimes your mind just warns you about something that’s to come. It sort of tries to prepare you for the surprises that life just keeps giving. But then again sometimes it could be nothing really. Mere coincidence.

What death has taught me?

To cherish and cherish the little things. I spend a lot of time just looking at small things like my toe nails and I remember how my brother had the exact same weird toenail structure. I look at my face and I see his amazing eyes staring right back at me. Death has proved to me that memories are forever eternal. I was torn up over the idea that I may have lost him forever and that in a couple of months/ years I would completely forget about the little things he did. However, as the days pass from 365 to 1 and from 1 to 365, I realize that it’s impossible to forget someone who you spent a few years on this unforgiving earth with. I learnt not to be afraid to forget because it’s more than impossible to forget. They’re in that song that is replayed over and over; they’re in that light switch; they’re in that bracelet and earrings; they’re in that hope that you’ll get to meet up with them in the next life and for them to tell you “I saved you the best seats because that’s what big brothers do.”

keep me in your heart.jpeg                       poem_2.jpg

What death has taught me?

Your family is not only blood but it also is in friendship. Most times you can’t get through something, then you realize that your circle is wider than you had once imagines so you carry on. It’s not about choosing friends but choosing the family that is bound to you indefinitely. It’s about learning to be there with smiles and with tears. It’s about knowing that there’s people out here who are, simply put, angels.

What death has taught me?

To pray more and more. To love more and more. To be patient and understanding. To appreciate those I have around me until it’s time to bid them adieu.

What death has taught me?

Regardless of the number of people you see depart from you, regardless of how many years you have spent on this here earth, it’s never the same. Just like with each new day the sun shines differently, each addition to the tally affects you different.

eee3b5a6bcc83c81e7f3f45ad98d9cf3.jpg

I recently told someone that the sun shines through different people. The truth in this has only just hit me and I realize that I might actually be just a little more in-tune with this thing called life.

My fallen soldiers are simply more than memories, they are the stars that light up the sky at night. They are the sun that shines ever so bright. They are the wind that blows each and every night.  They are the smile and the feeling of warmth you feel once in every random while. They are those deep breathes that you take and wonder why you feel so calm all of a sudden. They are still living, just not alive.

Let’s jam to some Shabba Ranks today.

Shabba Ranks – Ting a ling a ling

 

That’s it from my end of the globe.

From a cool corner of Nairobi,

With life, love, sun and positive vibes,

Let the memories keep us venturing into the unknown and inspire us to live and not just be alive.

.theafricangirl.

*Mapenzi.Love*:)

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One thought on “Lemons and more Lemons

  1. Pingback: What To Do With The Gap | theafricangirl

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