What About Life Lately?(Taking Stock)


Hey there.

I hope you’re well and as pumped up for the year end as I am. If you’re not, listen to some Jidenna ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzxjbS19MP0) and get your good vibes rolling.

So, this is abit of a recap into the past month or two I suppose…I’ve been off the grid for a minute ayy? Not to worry. I’m still here.

Taking Stock 3.0:

Making: plans to put up my cake and cupcake website. **Finallyyyyyyyy** I’m way too excited for this one…choosing fonts, templates, pictures, stories behind each piece, how to spread the love via the website….all this and so much more. Let’s stay tuned.

Cooking: Hmmm, I cook every other day so I can’t start listing everything. However, I made some finger licking twice dipped spicy chicken drumsticks a couple of weekends ago…I see where all this food will end up, but you do know that bikini bodies are simply any body with a bikini on. *drops mic* P.s. some pork stir fry might be in the wishlist this week. 🙂

Drinking: Water and Orange Juice have been my staples for a while. Throw in some natural yoghurt and the angels shall sing to you.

Reading: Americanah – Chimamanda. Well, technically, it was one of those impulse buys because so many people in my circle talked about it and I had to see what all the supposed hype was about…yes, I’m like a year too late but I’m reading it now right? That’s all that counts. And I finished it. Sigh. I’m so done with books btw.

Wasting: No time trying to live each day as it comes. Life is too short to be sitting down miserable.

Wishing: for Christmas to get here already….the energy, the vibes, the people it brings together. I’m all about wishes.

Enjoying: some serious Naija music right about now. From Tiwa Savage, to Mr Eazy, Tekno, Patoranking…name them and I’ve probably jammed to most of it. Plus, the kenyan music scene is looking waaaaay up. I mean Dela and Fena are legit power women.

Liking: the delivery options everyone has these days. From make up, to food, to baking stuff, to drinks, to clothes. Love it. Keep up the amazing work Nairobi.

Wondering: Where to get crotchet braids installed without having that weird side part that’s like the red sea during noah’s time. *badum tss*

Loving: the random opportunities that seem to be checking in for the business. *Viva Cupcakes. Viva Cakes. Viva Velvet By Moxie *

Marvelling: at how some good lighting and the perfect angle give you such a good shot especially when it comes to food. Yuuuuuum. Maybe food blogging should be my next step.

Needing: More R n R. Preferably  by the beach, with a couple of drinks and good company. Seems like all the good vibes are stored in the ocean so I need to make like a boat and sway in that direction. Hey December, I see you. 🙂

Smelling: Warm Vanilla Sugar Body Splash and a helluva like chocolate too because I baked some legit death by chocolate cupcakes.

Following: A helluva lot of baking shows, channels, instagram pages. Sigh. I basically live, eat and breathe cake these days.

chocolate-cuppies (*Thanks Google*)

Noticing: My hair is pulling some interesting moves. I recently took out my braids and decided to do a no-heat challenge for about three weeks before the next protective style goes in, and it’s simply fascinating. Natural hair is too versatile. 🙂

Knowing: that there’s so much good energy that’s around waiting for us to let it in. When you let go of the negative vibes, and the unneccesary shenanigans, God opens doors. All you need to do is let Him do His work and the rest will flow through.

Thinking: of investments and a lot of things finance. You know that feeling you get in your gut that tells you to stop putting your money where your mouth is? (Literally) 😀 Well, it’s been on my mind for a minute, and is clearly still on my mind.

Feeling: hella positive. My favourite time of the year (save for my birthday) is coming through and I cannot hold in my excitement for the good energy that is synonymous with December.

Bookmarking: Food blogs, because stealing ideas and what not…and also, photography videos…how to get the best shot regardless of whether or not you have a camera. Dear phone, you’re going to be used and abused.

Opening: My pinterest page lately. Hmmm, dusts off cobwebs. 🙂

Giggling: At Kevin Hart’s what now and Lip Sync Battle as well. Yoooooo. Lupita showed us the truest Kenyan moves there. Seen so much of it in Westie. Go Lupita.

Eating: oven roasted sweet potatoes with cayenne pepper, salt and black pepper. Just om nom nom nom nooooooom.

(Craving: Bacon and bacon and bacon and pork chops and more bacon.)

I realized that taking stock is an interesting version of counting your blessings. So keep counting your wins and keep an eye out for opportunities. And really spread out the good vibes like the wind does with the dust.

 

That’s it from my end of the globe.

From a cool corner of Nairobi,

With life, love, sun and positive vibes(and a hint of chocolate cupcakes),

Let the good energy flow.

.theafricangirl.

*Mapenzi.Love*:)

 

Who or What is a Writer?


Hey my doves.

I’ve been receiving so much positivity from so many readers and from life in general, it’s amazing. So here I am, back at it again with the blog posts. I hope y’all have been well.

Who / What Is A Writer?

writer

The other day, well more like last month (Happy New Month guys, it’s finally the middle of the year)….so anyway, the other day I was picking up a hamper from somewhere, and the lady I met up with was first, really friendly and secondly, the sweetest human being ever. You know those random things you get into on social media and then the punch line is win a free hamper or something of the sort? Well that’s what this was about. Okay, the point of that back story isn’t so that you can finally see how much time I spend on the internet.

With this sweetheart, let’s call her Mo, she’s the social media manager at company X. Mo randomly asks me a question about what I do, well possibly because I was rocking up to her office at 2 in the afternoon, dressed in jeans, a vest and a sweater. I asked her to guess what I do. Here’s where it got interesting. She shoots me a scrutinizing look, like top to bottom kinda look then she she just says, “You look like a writer. Like one of those creatives that can sit behind a desk and put words on a screen and have people enjoy what you write.”

What? Me? A Writer? So I asked her “Why do you think I look like a writer? Is it the way i’m dressed? How I sound when I talk?” Mo said that it was in my eyes or something. I laughed so hard and asked her to get serious. Here we were, two complete strangers, carrying on a conversation like we were friends from way back when. She went on to say that it’s in my hands, I have a writer’s hands. It’s in how laid back I looked, it’s in the smile and of course the way I spoke to her with a certain command of English. So, I was flattered. If you know me, you know by now that flattery gets you more than 10 points with me. I then went on to tell her about the blog and that I write for fun, she read my latest posts on depression, looking all impressed (in my opinion). So if you’re reading this Mo, Hi. 🙂

We caught up a bit on how I came to blog and what else I do, she promised to buy some of my cupcakes, she followed the page on Instagram, joked about how she needs more energy like mine around the office, we exchanged numbers….New friend guys. Is this how networking works? I felt so accomplished on my drive home and so I got to thinking, What exactly is a writer?

Who/ What is a writer?

I always imagined a writer to be someone who lounges around with their laptop and/or tab, a mug of black coffee and glasses on their face(I picked this out of all the movies I’ve watched that have a writer in them), looking all dishevelled and slightly crazy. Words flowing through their entire aura being let out through their finger tips.

Kinda like Johnny Depp when he played Mort Rainey in Secret Window.

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Thank you google for making my life slightly harder. I put that in the search tab and it brought me a lot of psychological stuff about whether you’re a writer or someone who simply writes. This led me to read through a couple hundred websites about this and now here I am sharing my profound knowledge, if only just so it stops taking up space in my mind.

A writer is, simply put, is someone who can pen down their thoughts onto a piece of paper in a manner that exudes meaning and can be understood by anyone who reads it. Based on this definition, aren’t we all writers then?

a compulsion to write
a love of language
a grasp of grammar and idiom
a wide acquaintance with writing in different genres and from different historical periods
an enormous vocabulary, together with an instinct for choosing words appropriate to context and audience
the ability to write despite discouragement and distractions

So does this apply to you? I know they do to me.

Do your words make people feel involved? Do they evoke emotions and concern? Do the readers flow with the words, like they’re being serenaded by a violin? Do you itch to write almost every second of the day? Do you have multiple pages of multiple books filled with blood, sweat, tears and of course ink? Do you not worry about semantics like How should I begin or where should I begin or is my writing good enough?

Then you might possibly be a writer. Or someone who writes. Screw the internet and the labels though. If you think you’re a writer, then be what you may.

One must be drenched in words, literally soaked in them, to have the right ones form themselves into the proper pattern at the right moment.  ~Hart Crane

And I found this quote which simply spoke to me, wrapped up my “writer” physique in a beautiful little bundle of words and was gifted to my sight.

The writer writes in order to teach himself, to understand himself, to satisfy himself; the publishing of his ideas, though it brings gratification, is a curious anticlimax.  ~Alfred Kazin

 

Elvis Costello and The Attractions- Everyday I Write The Book

Everyday, Everyday, Everyday I write the book

Chapter One we didn’t really get along
Chapter Two I think I fell in love with you
You said you’d stand by me in the middle of Chapter Three
But you were up to your old tricks in Chapters Four, Five and Six

The way you walk
The way you talk, and try to kiss me, and laugh
In four or five paragraphs
All your compliments and your cutting remarks
Are captured here in my quotation marks

Don’t tell me you don’t know the difference
Between a lover and a fighter
With my pen and my electric typewriter
Even in a perfect world where everyone was equal
I’d still own the film rights and be working on the sequel

That’s it from my end of the globe.

From a cool corner of Nairobi,

with love and love and sun and positive vibes,

.theafricangirl.

*Mapenzi.Love* 🙂

Back To Basics


Hello my doves.

Happy New Year once again.

Maybe I should just scrap the “Hellos” for the next couple of months. You know where I’m from, in December we start wishing each other Merry Christmas from December 1st….and Happy New Year from January 1st until probably Easter. So get with the times. 😀

I hope you’re well, because we’re all well.

I figured that my first official post of the year(well not listing things) would focus on going back to basics. You know how i’m always saying that one need not have resolutions, if by the 2nd you don’t even know what they are? This is my version of resolution setting this year.

Am I the only one who has an out of sorts series of days? Like something about what you’re doing or how you’re acting simply doesn’t feel like yourself? It’s almost like you’re an outsider, looking in to your life?

Back to Basics.

A lot of the time we simply go through the motions you know? We embark on an unexpected (hobbit fans? non?) adventurous journey, full of energy, ready to conquer the world, and reach the destination we have in mind. Actualize our dreams. The success is so close you can taste it. Then we get caught up in the chase. We even, dare I say it, forget where we were headed and get sucked under the current.

The hustle gets too intense; it sucks you in. 5 or 6 days a week you’re running around like a headless chicken and on the one day you should be resting, social calls must be answered. Day or Night, it doesn’t matter, as long as they’re answered.

Back to Basics.

Life turns into a series of days just rolling on by like a camera reel. You find yourself wondering when the weekend will get here;

When that vacation will check in (either after school or after work);

When you can leave the house to be away from your spouse or better half;

You’re lost in routines which once brought you joy but now are seemingly turning into the bane of your existence.

Back to Basics.

When you start asking yourself what you’ve become.

Who this new person that’s controlling your body is.

OR

When others begin to question whether you’re okay, happy, satisfied with the chase you’ve taken up.

When they start asking whether you’re really happy with what you’re doing or would you be interested in taking something else up instead…

Is that when you realize that something may be wrong?

Back to Basics.

When it gets here, or when you see the signs (which is pretty difficult) before the imminent burnout, remember the basics.

Remember Simba….Remember who you are.

simba

Take a step back. There’s time you know.

Just step away from everything, mentally first. Because the mind is what carries the most of the burnout pressure.

Stop running and just jog.

Back to Basics.

Is the chase thaaaaaaat important that you can afford to lose yourself in it?

Sometimes, we question it when it’s too late.

It could be with work, with school and finally with your social life (includes love life).

Sometimes I realize that I’m not myself. There are those days when you do certain things and your own conscience comes at you like “What the hell bro? Who are you?”

The other day I caught myself as I was about to blow up on someone for something so insignificant and I realized that it had been building up for a while. The silent frustration; the silent anger; the silent stress of everything. So finally when the “perfect” outlet came I almost went HAM.

This is where I realized that Hey! Calm down. This is not you. So calm down.

Back to Basics - Chalkboard

The words Back to Basics written on a chalkboard

Back to Basics.

Waking up multiple times in the night.

Struggling to eat even the smallest meal or overeating at any given time of the day.

Desiring to sit back and chill but even when you sit your thoughts keep whirling around your mind.

Looking haggard and worn out when you’ve woken up even after a full 8 hours of sleep.

Getting annoyed at the little things or are overly excited about things that aren’t really up to your own level (i.e You settle).

The signs guys.

Back To Basics.

Take some time off when you feel the “different you” poking out from underneath the surface.

Take a breather. Remove yourself from social media.

Talk to people other than those who you speak to on the regular. Sometimes, the frustration sets in when there’s no new energy coming into your day.

Meditate. It’s actually not hard to meditate. All you need is to shut out everything on the outside, and focus on your “inside”. What is your mind saying? What is your body saying? How is your heart beating? Then calm your thoughts, and focus on breathing. Release.

Think of what you did as a child; did you sing? dance? then do that for a minute.

Think of something good.

Back To Basics.

Burnouts are common. You sometimes never even notice them. Watch for the signs, listen to your body, listen to your mind, just listen.

It’s all about resetting, not necessarily to factory/default settings but to a version that was less stressed out. Always, know where it is you’d revert to before you you claim to go back to basics and remember were you’re heading once the basics have been remembered.

Back To Basics.

 

A bit of a throwback for today’s post:

Because we return to basics to remember just how much we have strayed from our paths, or how much we need to simply reconnect with ourselves.

 

We will never look back at the faded silhouettes.

(Also check out Avicii’s song “Feeling Good”)  <= reconnect with what makes you feel grounded.

 

With love and love and positive vibes as always,

.theafricangirl.

*Mapenzi.Love* 🙂

 

Beliefs(4)


Hello darlings.

I hope nothing too major happened between yesterday and today that would dampen your Christmas spirit or your spirit in general. If something did go down, you’ll be alright. Have some positive-a-tea. 😀

And the award for the girl who keeps her word goes to….*drum roll* meeeeeeeeeeee. 🙂

As promised, here’s le finale…la créme de la créme…the cherry topping my icecream, the icing on my cake. Part four baby.

 

Beliefs(part4): LOVE

Hahahaha. I couldn’t not talk about love meeeeehn. It’s like asking me not to be myself, and that’s a tall order yo!

So let’s get into it.

What is love?

love-quotes_807-1.png

Is love suffering through the nights and days, hoping it gets better?

Is it crying yourself to sleep every other night because of some sort of emotional or even physical abuse(p.s. my friend, because you know how great my circle is, did a post about sexual harassment and it’s such an eye opener, so do check her out. Actually all her posts are captivating and simply amazing so check the posts out at https://smirgolbaggins.wordpress.com/)?

Where was I? Yeah, what is love?

Is it I’m in love with you, only when I can see you but the second we’re away from each other, what is a better half?

…Heeeey. Let me take a breather. I’ve jumped the gun too quick.

What is love?

It is selfless and pure.

How else can you explain kids loving their parents? Call it a sense of dependence but at 18, you still think of it as dependence and not love? I mean you are at liberty to leave them and forget them….like thanks guys, it’s been real. Thanks for you know, the past 18years (+9months), sayonara guys.

It is human.

If someone tells you that they don’t know how to love, it’s a farce. But that’s agape love.

Let’s return to that gun we had jumped earlier…(Actually, how is that an acceptable phrase? What do you mean jumping the gun?)

What do you go into a relationship with? What mindset do you have once you fall for someone? Hmm?

Some people were brought up knowing that love is when you clean and cook for your spouse…

Others were told that as long as you bring home the bacon(I could go for some right now actually) then that’s love.

For some, as long as you spend time with each other once a week, but can ignore one another for the rest of the time then you’ve shown your love.

Shall I continue to call out these beliefs?

One story was told about a lady who knew that sex was only after marriage. So she went and got married just so she could have sex…see she also survived under the notion that sex in a relationship is love. So the nights when they didn’t do it, she felt unloved.

Another story is told about a young man who was brought up knowing that gifts are love. So any girl he got with, was showered with presents but he never understood why they didn’t last because he thought he had loved them the only way he knew how.

The final one is that love is persevering. You see that young lady or middle aged woman who can’t speak out because after being assaulted by her better half, she stays there because he says he loves her after? The young man trying to stay focused because some  pretty young thing threatens to castrate him if he leaves so he stays because she says it’s because she loves him?

See, people’s experiences are a great example sometimes. Does any of this ring a bell? Have any of these been at the back/fore front of your mind at any point?

What is love?

Most of us get into the thick of relationships and courtships and eventually marriage with a notion. We fall in love with an ideal so when things go awry, you hold fast because you’re trying to protect that ideal.

What is love?

It is no object. This one should be more than obvious really. Love isn’t an object ergo it cannot be quantified or measured.

It is not a moment. That’s pleasure guys. You cannot love only for a second or a minute because love takes a while to manifest but once it does, it’s even harder to dissolve and let go of/ get rid of.

What is love?

love scrabble

 

In my opinion, because sometimes you learn from experience and observing.

Love is an experience of oneself. You have to be at home with yourself. You have to know yourself and understand yourself before you can dream of loving someone else. Love is how you treat yourself before the facade you put up for others.

Love is being comfortable in each other’s skin. If you find yourself trying to change because of someone for some reason or another, then that is not love. That’s something else entirely. To love someone, you must accept that they are allowed and at liberty to see you for you and not what you want to show.

Love should not hurt. That’s self explanatory really. It should never be hard to love someone, it’s the circumstances and the situations that make it seem like loving is hard. (Have a listen to What is Love by Haddaway….*baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more*)

Love is a feeling, an attitude, an emotion. Love is simply love or as Paulo Coehlo puts it, LOVE SIMPLY IS.

So as you get into the thick of Christmas, show your love. There’s never a time like the present.

I realized that in order to come to terms with oneself and one’s purpose, you need to let go of “falling in love with a notion and an ideal”. Fall in love with love from now on.

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That’s part….: 4 of 4 :…. folks.

I’ve received a touch of feedback from some people and they related to the beliefs series. So if you’re among the tribe, share it with someone who you know needs a bit of mental stimulation. It’s is only through improving yourself that you can better someone else.

Let go of these beliefs that are holding you back.

A belief is a foundation for what we do, it affects how we behave, it’s a force that controls all our decisions.

A belief is a feeling of certainty about what something means and it’s an assumption we make about ourselves, others in the world, and the way we expect it to be.

As a man believeth, then so is he.

So, what are your beliefs?

live your beliefs

With that, my wisdom and writing juice for the year is basically done. Thank you for keeping up with this africangirl, I’ll be sure to show up on your screens soon.

Until then,

Have some New Edition:

Merry Christmas and yall better make merry…and be happy. To my amazing readers who don’t celebrate christmas, Happy holidays my doves.

With love and love, positive vibes and Christmas spirit,

.theafricangirl.

*Mapenzi.Love* 🙂

Beliefs(3)


Hello my doves.

How much of a superwoman do I feel like? Walking and spitting rainbows maaaaaannnnn. 3 posts, 3 days and i’m still dre running.

Are you well? I hope so. I’m just seated here bumping to Christmas carols, with my Christmas sweater, sipping on some peppermint hot chocolate….tihihi. Don’t go skimping on that Christmas spirit.

 

Beliefs(part3): All Men Are Dogs

not all men

Let’s see how a common belief is given life and “purpose”.

This seems to be the biggest phrase among women across all generations. Why are all men dogs? If you ask around, you’ll be given the straight up answer that even my nephew could come up with, “All men are dogs because All men are simply dogs.”

And now let’s figure out the origin of such a deluded thought,,,you know if all men are dogs then the same goes for all the men in your family right? But that’s debateable.

So here the story goes:

You get onto the dating scene, 1st love, 1st boyfriend. You’re excited, You’re hopeful, You’re giving out 100% of everything.

You fall deeply, and you fall hard, and you honeymoon for all of 1 minute. If it works out, awesome.

However, when it doesn’t work out and y’all break up, that’s where the misconceptions come in.

You hibernate for a long minute, you cry yourself to sleep, wallow in icecream and fudge cake, you begin your “hate” for all things of the opposite sex.

And you say “I’m never dating AGAIN”.

Fastforward to a couple of months, weeks, years later and this nice guy comes a-knocking. You start to fall but then you remember that the previous time, your 100% didn’t get you anywhere, so this time you go in at 80%. You go in with an element of “If it works then that’s cool, and if it doesn’t then i’ll be done with men for good.”

A few months go by and you’re hopeful then something happens and the relationship comes to an end. Pow. That’s another blow to your ego…

You begin to question what’s wrong with you, and why you’re attracting temporary people in your life. What IS wrong with you? Nothing is wrong with me you would most definitely argue. Then you conclude that it must be the guys, like what the hell is wrong with them?

Cue the next potential gentleman. Well, he could be pulling all the right strings and stops to prove that it could work, but you’re at 60% bro. You’re putting in 60% babes. Yet you expect someone who’s giving 100% not to notice it? So he treats you like that 60%, and when you call it quits, you immediately ask yourself “why are they dogs?”

So guess what? At this point if you think you’re dating dogs then it means that you’re just as much of a dog as the men you deal with darling.

Next relationship, 40% in, 60% out. You go in with one foot already outside the door. You probably were an athlete in a past life, but that’s irrelevant here. You know it’s over before you get into it so you just date for the sake of it. Sigh. And you think to yourself, if all i’m attracting are dogs then why not play that game then. This is definitely how players come about or so I think. See, you’re a bitch now, yeah because dogs don’t date humans, they date other dogs.

But when you get to that 20% input point,,,chill.

See that’s a belief, based on experience and own knowledge and experience. You went in with a heart of gold, and came out of the “battle” with shards of glass and sand.

mindset.jpeg

How to change this mindset? (Change it such that if ever you go back to dating and things end, then it doesn’t affect your perception of the next suitor that comes into your life).

The amazing lady at the session (as mentioned somewhere in part 1) took us through the motions.

Step 1: Take yourself out of the game. When you get to the point of doing it just because, then step out of the scene for a minute. The rationale behind this step is that you’re going into it for all the wrong reasons now.

Step 2: Stop blaming the men. All these guys you’ve dated have nothing in common amongst themselves unless they were brothers, cousins, friends. The only other thing that brought them together is YOU. So stop blaming them.

Step 3: Don’t blame yourself. Trying to pin the blame on something never resolves anything really. If you haven’t noticed it as you’re growing up, then realize it now. The blame-game never works.

Step 4: Look into yourself. Reassess your ideals, your intentions, understand who you are without the relationships. Date yourself first. This tends to be hardest really. Because we have egos from here to the sun so sitting down and looking within yourself doesn’t really appeal to us.

Before you get back in the game, you need to come to the conclusion  that not all men are these supposed “Dogs” baby.

It took you a long time to go from 100% to that 20% and now you need to build it back up from that 20% to a proper 100%. Trust, must start with yourself. If you don’t trust yourself then you won’t trust anyone else and you won’t allow them to trust you.

Befriend yourself, see how hard it is to be your own friend or how smooth , easy breezy it is.

Step 5: Reconcile with yourself.

Accept that you haven’t been treating yourself right and by this, you also haven’t been treating everyone else right. And by virtue of this, others also don’t treat your right because they see how you value yourself.

Step 6: Replace the belief that all men are dogs with new knowledge. This new knowledge comes from books (read and read and read), videos and other people who have seen the “light” and have proven that men aren’t dogs.

This is the most important step actually. You cannot switch up a belief without replacing it with new knowledge.

replace the beliefs.jpg

 

Step 7: Get back in the scene once you’ve reconciled with yourself. Doesn’t mean that you wear your heart on your sleeve, but be more open minded. :*

And with that folks, I’m done with these all men are dogs shenanigans. Ps. dogs can be replaced with players, untrustworthy, useless, inferior…you know the whole shabang that the internet alludes to.

Superficial beliefs….check yourself.

That’s part….: 3 of 4 :…. folks, I’ll probably put up all parts by the end of the week so brace or embrace(because *hugs*) yourselves.

Until then,

Have some Sam Feldt:

Tired of giving my love and getting nowhere

Isn’t this song just the bombdiggity?

Tomorrow’s another day folks.

With love and love and oceans of Christmas spirit,

.theafricangirl.

*Mapenzi.Love* 🙂

What makes you tick?


Olla my lovelies.

As always, i’m late at this…blame it on writer’s block…or it’s because anything I’ve put down the last couple of tries didn’t have enough soul to it.

I’m a perfectionist or I have slight OCD…so if something doesn’t look right…and it’s the work of my hands then I don’t feel it proper to share with anyone else. Like when my cupcakes backfire, i’ll bake more until I get the perfect batch for selling…well,,,perfect in my eyes.

I’m one of those guys that would probably go back and correct an assignment…long after I handed it in and received my grade. It’s a good and yet bad thing but such is life I suppose. C’est ma vie,,,et ma vie est belle.

Oooh…where are my manners? How are y’all? Good Awesome Amazing Extraordinarily Enjoying life? I do hope so.

Well, Writer’s Block? Bye Felicia.

My better half conscience constantly reminds me to upload content on the blog. So here we are now…finally figured out what to write.

WHAT MAKES YOU TICK?

Not as impersonal as you think....here's my wrist guys

Not as impersonal as you think….here’s my wrist guys

Tick? No not that blood sucking pest( which reminds me…do you remember that PowerPuff Girls episode that had that weird thought-sucking villain?)

But yes, tick.

To tick…if taken literally based on the workings of a clock…means to move.

So my content is mostly going to be based on trying to figure out what makes people to be moved to do something, to reach out, to strive to succeed…to live.

I asked this to le workmates recently and seeing as they are IT people,,,few words were exchanged. But I generally figured out what made them choose to code and deal with software, hardware and technology.

One said,

“I want to fix things. I figured that seeing as I can’t fix people, then i’d rather fix something non-living. If I can sit down for hours taking apart and putting together a computer, over and over, I cultivate my skills of being patient enough to deal with people.”

The other one said,

“I like challenges. If I work on something that won’t cause my hands to get clammy or my thoughts to go on overdrive…why should I do it? I do it because it’s proven to be an interesting challenge.”

 

When you surround yourself with people who know what drives them, don’t you get inspired to express your own driving factor?

 

They say passion is the greatest driver of them all.

He drives with such elegance and intensity that it’s pretty difficult to ignore his bulky frame when he steps into your thoughts. He takes charge where it matters and takes you to the edge…(yes, we’re still talking about Passion).

passion

so ticks huh?

 

– Am I comfortable with what I am doing?

This doesn’t necessarily always mean settling for less…or giving up on striving for something because an easier option came up. It’s basically about finding an interest in the path you’ve chosen. So Are you comfortable with what you’re doing?

 

What are your short term goals? 

  What are your long-term goals?

– How much could I have?

What is your end after all the work and struggle?

Is it your degree?

Is it the amount of money in your account? If yes, then in order to get to those 10 digit balances, how much work are you willing to put in and without giving up the second things start looking up for you?

If it’s in the pursuance of your dreams…are you willing to put your life on hold albeit for a little while to see it through? You suddenly keep getting free tickets to stuff and networking events just a few weeks before a deadline…would you attend?

Allow yourself to dream about how much you could have, decide whether you are ready to have that and then go for it.

in the end

– What motivates you?

Umm…Kelly Rowland is not an appropriate answer here.

As a human being, there’s always a million and one things running through our minds at any given moment.

Let’s do this…as you read this, think about something that happened that awakened a need to do something or follow through to the end…

Think about it and how it got your brain juice flowing. > Remember the post about dreams? <

And then, think about something else that made you feel like quitting just as soon as you started…What about it put you off that much?

There’s a drive, a tick that was there in the motivated one that is missing in the other scenario, yeah? If you could figure that out and tap into that potential…would you? If you found out that yeah, this emotion or this item makes me want to achieve something,,,you would grab it and never let it go I assume.

images

– Have I done enough for myself?

Ok…this is almost starting to look like some self-help blog, non?……..back to the question at hand.

I’m a huge advocate for discovering what makes you feel discontent.

  • Figure out what leaves your successful leap not seem as amazing as you would have liked.
  • Discover that which makes you yearn for something else.
  • If you could do something more than is expected of you, would you?

I have mild OCD of sorts therefore, it’s very difficult to sit back and be completely satisfied with the things I give out. (As I pointed out in the beginning of this piece) With this great power comes great responsibility. The desire to be discontent with everything I do or feel…it’s great you know.

To reach past that self-disapproval and accept my own creations…it’s a challenge that I’m not sure I’m willing to overcome.

 

Last Question:(Surprise,,,i’m a woman human and we always have a lot of questions to ask given the chance)

– What really makes you tick?

You need to know what you want to do in order to properly respond to this question.

want

 

So guys, what  makes you tick?

You should think about it, take a second…matter of fact you should take four.

Let’s stop doing things for the mere sake of doing them but let’s do them because we really crave the achievement.

respo

 

From a cool corner of Nairobi,

with dreams, and desires and cupcakes galore,

.theafricangirl.

*Mapenzi.Love* 🙂

 

Mindspeak


Olla muchachos. 🙂 🙂
You’re doing well i should hope? still basking in The Afterglow non?

Awesome.

I should be studying but look where I am…tihihi.

Figured the blog needed a little loving…

So, what better way to appreciate my brain child than with recognition?

I was nominated by one of the coolest and sweetest poets i’ve come across just yet. Her name’s Meg from Dream Chasing: The Revelations and she’s such a barbie doll it’s insane.

Anywho, the internet apparently wants us to appreciate female bloggers outchea(Female bloggers stand up!) and it came up with the Sisterhood of the Bloggers award.

So in honour of this(Momma we made it), I’m supposed to answer a few questions to the best of my abilities and understanding….and in full honesty.

BUT First lemme take a selfie lemme nominate a couple sweethearts and dimes whose blogs i just so happen to follow:

– Mal Kanini(There’s two cool ladies behind this one btw) of Heels, Hearts and Heroine

– Barbie Abwoga of The C-Word| No not contraception, cancer

– Michelle Nyakiamo of When Life Changes

– Nyambura Murigi of Wake Up and Smell the Coffee

– Gathoni of Pickles in Jars

– Wangechi of justwangechi’s blog

p.s as you can probably tell, there’s so much to how you name your blog that draws in readers and allows you their guaranteed loyalty. 🙂 check these examples of good bloggership and know why they’re currently bookmarked on my browser. We’re all amateur writers but alas, our fingers can put down into writing what our minds try to project.

p.p.s To the Lovely bloggers nominated, copy paste the questions and answer them in your own point of view. Tag the blog so I get to read them as well.

Back to the situation:

If you could be any animal, what would you be and why?

Haaah! Because as a human being i’m not already an animal?(Dear Biology, did you lie to me? ) Anywho, I’d pick an eagle. I love how strong and independent they seem. I’d have wings to fly around and see the world from way up there…i’ve been down here for so long it would be nice to discover the true birds eye view. An eagle embodies strength and resilience(at least to me).

Plus, have you seen how gorgeous an eagles face and beak structure is?

eagle

What legacy would you like to leave behind?

That’s a good question. (Beyonce fans in the house say what!) Legacy? well, something that I’ll leave behind because the life that I live will someday have to be returned to sender? Ok. see how pretty difficult this is to answer? As I beat around the bush…call me George…might be from Georgia haha. I would really love to leave my positivity behind. The memory of my thoughts and words should spread and let it be known that there was a girl that wanted to dispell the negativity that surrounds every nook and cranny of this world that we live in; to try and bring in as much positive thought and action; that though may be unknown to many, imparted some warmth into their hearts and minds.

Name one thing you love about yourself, why?

One thing only? Sigh. Such vain beings we are. I love love love love love my mind. I’m not a materialistic person per say, I can’t say that I love my body because it’s prone to change; I can’t lay a claim on my face or anything of that sort because of the same reason. But my mind. It’s a wormhole that even I at times find difficult to understand. In this mind, I’ve build an entire empire; that has my goals, desires, weaknesses and strengths all panned out. In this very mind, my dreams are conjured and from the last blog post(it’ll be ours) you know why dreams are important and are ever so valid.

What would you like to change about yourself or improve on?

My perception of myself. Once again, it trickles down to my mind. This very mind that knows all my strengths, also knows all my so-called weaknesses. If I could put a lid on the negativity that involves talking down to myself or ultimate disapproval. But to each his own I suppose. I try get around this anyway because it’s such a pebble in a field of rock.

If you could fly for a day, where would you go?

To the one who undoubtedly holds my heart. If I could, I would. But seeing as that’s slightly far fetched and mysterious, i’ll settle for Morocco. My dad has told me stories about how amazing their culture is, how welcoming they are generally, the FOOD, the breathtaking beauty that is Marakech, full of life, colour and pompadour. I would really travel here in a nano-second if travelling were free.

rtavel

If you could have supernatural abilities what would it/they be?

Supernatural lovers I see you. 🙂

I would once have said mind reading but I realised that there’s a certain peace of mind that comes with not knowing people’s thoughts all the time.

Now, I would really want to have the power to be a medium. There’s so many people I know that would simply love to have a link to someone who’s passed; to tell them “hey. I miss you” or “I’ve been doing this with the aim of making you proud, am i getting there” or simply to feel as alive as they once did when that person was roaming the earth among us. Now that’s my superpower.

Where would you like to live? Why?

I would like to live where the weather is always perfect. Not too much rain, nor too much Sunshine. A place where my heart is content and I can call home. But in reality, take me to Marakech OR Trinidad and Tobago(thank you Nicki Minaj for this insight into Trini…)

If you could meet anyone, who would it be? {past, present, future}

[past]My mum and dad when they were younger. The love they still show all these years later makes me want to have met them before it got this far, to see how amazing they were at living…to laugh at my dad’s fro an ‘stache and glasses and steal clothes from my mum’s wardrobe.

[present] My nephew. I miss Nate. 😦 😦 but besides that, it would be awesome to meet Brad Lau aka ladyironchef (http://www.ladyironchef.com/) because he does travel and food so well.

[future] My 35 year old self…so she can tell me that it’ll turn out fine. That these struggles aren’t in vain.

Why do you blog?

I blog because I want to leave a digital footprint that I’ll come back to when I’m older to simply remember. For my kids to discover and finally agree that I indeed was cool “back then”. Besides, all these thoughts need to be written down somewhere so why not share it with the world; the known and the unknown.

Would you consider yourself happy?

Happiness is such a fleeting emotion. It cannot be measured as you would measure the amount of sugar you need for a batch of cupcakes(hint hint). There are moments when I can agree that I am happy. For now, we can agree that i’m simply satisfied with what life is offering and the steps i’m taking. Satisfaction is pretty a kin to happiness.

Talk about straight from the heart answers huh? Now you’ve had a glimpse into the mind that is mine. I’ll see y’all soon. I can study now.

Happy third Birthday Blog…I’m five days late but I had to make it big. 🙂 I can’t believe it’s been three whole years though. THREE years…that’s 36 months, 1095 days, 26280 hours, 1576800 minutes, 9460800 seconds…

to me

To more years of writing out my mindspeak for you my amazing readers.

From a cool corner of Nairobi,

with dreams, and desires and cupcakes galore,

.theafricangirl.

*Mapenzi.Love* 🙂

The Afterglow


The afterglow:

af·ter·glow
ˈaftərˌɡlō/
noun
noun: afterglow; plural noun: afterglows
  1. light or radiance remaining in the sky after the sun has set.
    • good feelings remaining after a pleasurable or successful experience.

Today and over the past weekend a number of people have asked me why I’m happy.

Apparently, it’s a bit of a situation to see me smile or generally just radiate happiness.

I’ll try and pinpoint a couple of reasons.

The title probably says it all.

An afterglow.

The lingering effects of something blissful.

The aftermath of something positively amazing occurring moments prior.

The result…yes that’s the word. The result of something taking place that leaves you in a mood that lights up the heavens and the earth on which you stand.

 

My afterglow stems from Christmas.

Have you ever been surrounded by so much family that you believe for sure that there’s not a doubt about your origin?

Have you ever been surrounded by so many childhood stories of yours and your siblings’ mischief that you longed to relive it?

Have you ever been the brunt of so many embarrassing stories that you turned from red to purple to freaking blue because you laughed so hard at the things you did when you were younger?

Have you ever basked in the glow of satisfaction because you spent time with the people that clearly will never let you down?

Have you ever been so in love with the concept of family that you admire how far the extended family reaches and how amazing it is to meet people who last saw you when you were a toddler?

Yes, I had many of those “Do you remember me? I last saw you when I held your feeding bottle back when you were a couple of months old.” …yeah sure I do.I barely remember my first five years, but ofcourse your face is the one thing I can recall.

and a couple of these too “Ayyy!!! Look at you! You’ve grown! Turning into a fine woman.” …did you expect me to remain a baby…while the years passed by??

And there was this one “What are you doing now? Hey! You’re in University? When? You’re about to clear even? My goodness. I thought you were in primary school.” …well, let’s see here. Ten years ago you made the same comment about my being still being in primary school…I don’t know how growth works for you then.

And my favorite “You’re understanding of the dialect seems to be better. I remember a time when we told you something and you would just reply the simple <<Eeeh!>>, smile awkwardly and hide behind your dad.”

I had a hoard of sarcastic answers to any and every single one of these kinds of remarks…Lord knows how I held my tongue in. Self-discipline for the win!

But back to the Have you evers.

If you’ve experienced these then I’m sure you know the feeling that accompanies it.

Here I am a couple of days later, feeling the effects of such a chill vacation.

You see, I have a knack for appreciating families that stick with each other. More so, families that don’t just live in their shell but have a network with their relatives. Maybe in the future, I might let you in on why I value family and why I want my kids to have the same notion of family as I do. Just not today and on this forum.

oh

So that was the holiday. Save for the insane amounts of slaughtered animals that were consumed. I’m still amazed at how my protein allergies did not act up. Roast meat and any celebration = Happy Kenyans.

I feel like Christmas was actually Christmas.

Silently thanking God for being well you know God.

Thanking Him for the opportunities that he revealed and offered us the past year.

Thanking Him for the gift of family.

Plus I met a couple interesting creatures in the past two weeks. Only way is up from here I suppose. 🙂

And ..*drum roll*..i’m one year away from graduating. I can finally say next year without it looking too far in the distance *from a distance…no? Okay.* As I slowly reevaluate my GPA goals…ambition is priceless. *Cue Wale-Ambition*

 

My afterglow; it’s going to stretch for a couple more months.

 

Also, guess what month it is?

*whispers January*

And guess what next month is?

*Tihihi…stay tuned for more intel.*

 

Afterglow- Wilkinson

Someone hold the sunlight back,

Cause we want this night to last.

(just put it in this context…shaa!! this is such a tune regardless.)

 

Happy New Year my lovelies.

Happy 2015.

May all the desires that you have written down as resolutions be achieved.

May all the happiness i’ve tried to squeeze into this post be leaked into your eyes through the screen of whatever device you’re reading it from, and proceed to cause your face to morph into a smile.

*a bit creepy yeah? cough. cough. *

From a cool little corner of Nairobi,

With love and life and #PositiveVibes,

.theafricangirl.

*Mapenzi.Love* 🙂

 

Why we lose friends in our 20s…


*some Emeli Sande to serenade your hearts and minds perhaps?*

I remember when I wrote 10 things every 20-something girl should know and how you, my amazing readers, thought that it was an interesting read.

Well here’s another one of those list thingamajigs my lovelies.

Hello my darlings.

Have I missed simply talking to you? YES.

Have I missed ranting and raving about anything and everything? YES.

Have I missed the love an affection that comes with writing to an audience that is not in my line of sight? HELL YEAH!!!

So let’s get to it then, shall we?

WHY DO WE LOSE FRIENDS IN OUR 20s?

(I insist on 20s because it’s at this stage of growth that we realize that well…life happens and people happen as well.)

1. BECAUSE LIFE HAPPENS

1. People change.

Everyone including yourself is changing; actually growing up. In this age-decade, we really have no strong idea of who we are so we look for what makes the most sense at the moment. We gravitate towards what seems to befit our lives and makes us satisfied so If there exist people who don’t fit with the mould, they are taken off the list; we bid them adieu.

heart and life

2. People move.

Sometimes, our friends relocate. I don’t mean to a town or another city that’s a bus/train ride away; i’m talking country and/or continent. Hard as it is to accept, at one point or another, you have to come to terms with the fact that you’ll probably never live in the same city or country ever again. So you need to decide whether or not the friendship is worth continuing.

3. Lifestyle changes.

There’s always that crowd of people who were/ are your turn-up buddies. So if at one point in time we decide to get off that daily turn-up and getting mashed any time you get the chance, it pretty obvious that the friendship will end on its own terms. Your “crew” will possibly refer to you as boring or “grandma”  the latter of which shouldn’t even be an insult. Who wouldn’t want to be as wise and as well-loved as a grandmother?

You get what I mean here though.

4. Relationships.

This obviously has to make an appearance. It’s all about being human. When one party ends up in an amazing relationship, surrounded with love and eventually encase themselves in that cocoon, the friendship will suffer. This is due to resentments and a feeling of being left out because you no longer spend time together. Most times, this should NOT be an obstacle, unless maybe the new significant other expressly tells them not to hang out with you…in which case, just wait it out. If, however, this is not the scenario, I believe it would be best to simply fade away and discover newer paths. The time spent resenting could be put to much better use.

live and love

5. Schedules.

I know all about schedules. This is such a scapegoat of a reason that you should be ashamed for even using this one. It may only apply to the weaker friendships though. If this has been the force behind a friendship break-up then simply realize that whoever that friend was, simply was in your life out of sheer convenience. It’s sad but true. Different/ busy schedules would never lead to loss of friends simply because they’ll always be a phone call or text away. My best friend knows this all too well.  😀 😀

6.  Fights

They happen all the time. People get annoyed, tears may be shed, fists may fly faster than you can say theafricangirl, feelings get hurt, emotions reign supreme and egos…these huge egos get bruised=> The usual casualties of a fight. The only way this would lead to the severing of a -ship is if too much time passes before the reconciliation process happens. You see, in earlier years of our lives (high school, middle/primary school, kindergarten) if you get into a fight with your friend, you’ll eventually have to hash it over because you’ll be very likely to see them sooner rather than later. In our 20s, it’s an entirely different ballgame. You may choose not to go out and find the said friend in order to make like Koffi Annan and restore the peace through verbal communication and more often than not, you’ll not cross paths in years. After a while, some regret will check in, but by then it may be too late to make amends so you have to let the -ship sail for good.

7. simply because they are toxic. hazardous.

toxic

Well, I think this last one is pretty self-explanatory. If your friend encourages you to do things that you normally would never even think of doing, to be someone who everyone else sees as different(and not the good kind of different), who leads to your slow but sure destruction, who doesn’t really build you up but instead removes the very foundation on which you stand,,,you my dear, have some toxic beings in your life, and it would be completely positive for you to let them go.

TOXIC- Yael Naim

how coolio is this rendition of Britney Spears’ toxic? Love it.

That’s a couple of the reasons I could think of.

P.s. seeing as one man’s meat is another man’s poison, I believe y’all should understand that you possibly fall into one or more of these categories listed. So don’t think yourself as the one that’s always being wronged, we wrong others as well. (let he who is without sin be the first to cast the stone).

live and live

All my love,

Hellos and Goodbyes and How are you doings?,

From a cool little corner of Nairobi,

.theafricangirl.

*Mapenzi.Love* 🙂

Acceptance


“Raise you like a phoenix”

(Fall Out Boy_ Phoenix)

.

Saying NO is always the easier option.

Choosing to think of the negative is always simpler.

Deciding to pick on the weak links is closer, right?

Opting to avoid the risks,

Digging holes in the ground to hide our faces.

Dark over light always wins in some people’s view.

I never understood why…

Until very recently that is.

It’s easier to let your thoughts consume you

And I realized that thinking is much like a never ending spiral.

One thought leads to another and one after that and it spirals out of control.

We are human, yeah?

We love to be in control of anything we come into contact with.

We are determined to try and alter nature to a form that we can rule.

And what happens when that doesn’t go according to plan?

We simply give up or deny or do anything that is beyond the positive.

We choose to deny simply because it’s harder to accept that which goes not according to our vision.

We pick dark over light because we are somehow inclined to that which gives comfort to our failure…

…because misery loves company.

We opt to seek solitude.

So the stages go from denial to over-thinking to self-loath to depression…

But isn’t it amazing how we’re supposed to rise up and accept our fate and move on?

socrates

Fate. Interesting word this one.

Do you believe in fate?

Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don’t.

We control the outcome of our actions,

And with that said, we also determine our own destiny.

If we choose to live based on the negatives then who are you to complain when you’re labelled a pessimist?

Or if it’s the positives, an optimist would be your title.

So I decided that in acceptance of a situation, you find relief.

Which would you rather: relief or that long downward spiral of negativity?

 

Your attitude is everything.

Your mistakes don’t make you neither do they break you.

They build your character.

They’re like busted prototypes that point out where you went wrong

so you get up, dust yourself off and try again.

 

ACCEPTANCE.

 

…(part 4 of 4)…

Aaliyah – Try again.

 

So I was supposed to explain what prompted this four part series, non?

I will refrain from doing so because someone once said that:

“You should talk about your blessings more than you talk about your problems”

Sometimes we sit down and examine our lives and concentrate on the few things that put us down albeit for a minute. We forget to appreciate the ever encompassing good in our lives and tend to put ourselves down way too much. We never realize that we have the power to rise above the negative…be it from within or from without.

I realized way back when that if you put down the thoughts that seemingly cause you unrest, whether on paper or virtually, your mind tends to find a release. So write the thought down and forget about it.

And with that, let’s do this acceptance shindig lovers and friends.

____Of the few things we can control, let’s take the lead and show life that we are stronger. _____

Positive vibes is the mantra.

Positive Thoughts,

Positive Feelings,

Positive Lives.

b405915144d4d39a73652b77f102997f

***P.s.  y’all should check out Gorgon City’s SIRENS album…it’s the beezneez***

 

All my love,

Hellos and Goodbyes and How are you doings?,

From a cool little corner of Nairobi,

.theafricangirl.

*Mapenzi.Love* 🙂