What About Life Lately?(Taking Stock)


Hey there.

I hope you’re well and as pumped up for the year end as I am. If you’re not, listen to some Jidenna ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzxjbS19MP0) and get your good vibes rolling.

So, this is abit of a recap into the past month or two I suppose…I’ve been off the grid for a minute ayy? Not to worry. I’m still here.

Taking Stock 3.0:

Making: plans to put up my cake and cupcake website. **Finallyyyyyyyy** I’m way too excited for this one…choosing fonts, templates, pictures, stories behind each piece, how to spread the love via the website….all this and so much more. Let’s stay tuned.

Cooking: Hmmm, I cook every other day so I can’t start listing everything. However, I made some finger licking twice dipped spicy chicken drumsticks a couple of weekends ago…I see where all this food will end up, but you do know that bikini bodies are simply any body with a bikini on. *drops mic* P.s. some pork stir fry might be in the wishlist this week. 🙂

Drinking: Water and Orange Juice have been my staples for a while. Throw in some natural yoghurt and the angels shall sing to you.

Reading: Americanah – Chimamanda. Well, technically, it was one of those impulse buys because so many people in my circle talked about it and I had to see what all the supposed hype was about…yes, I’m like a year too late but I’m reading it now right? That’s all that counts. And I finished it. Sigh. I’m so done with books btw.

Wasting: No time trying to live each day as it comes. Life is too short to be sitting down miserable.

Wishing: for Christmas to get here already….the energy, the vibes, the people it brings together. I’m all about wishes.

Enjoying: some serious Naija music right about now. From Tiwa Savage, to Mr Eazy, Tekno, Patoranking…name them and I’ve probably jammed to most of it. Plus, the kenyan music scene is looking waaaaay up. I mean Dela and Fena are legit power women.

Liking: the delivery options everyone has these days. From make up, to food, to baking stuff, to drinks, to clothes. Love it. Keep up the amazing work Nairobi.

Wondering: Where to get crotchet braids installed without having that weird side part that’s like the red sea during noah’s time. *badum tss*

Loving: the random opportunities that seem to be checking in for the business. *Viva Cupcakes. Viva Cakes. Viva Velvet By Moxie *

Marvelling: at how some good lighting and the perfect angle give you such a good shot especially when it comes to food. Yuuuuuum. Maybe food blogging should be my next step.

Needing: More R n R. Preferably  by the beach, with a couple of drinks and good company. Seems like all the good vibes are stored in the ocean so I need to make like a boat and sway in that direction. Hey December, I see you. 🙂

Smelling: Warm Vanilla Sugar Body Splash and a helluva like chocolate too because I baked some legit death by chocolate cupcakes.

Following: A helluva lot of baking shows, channels, instagram pages. Sigh. I basically live, eat and breathe cake these days.

chocolate-cuppies (*Thanks Google*)

Noticing: My hair is pulling some interesting moves. I recently took out my braids and decided to do a no-heat challenge for about three weeks before the next protective style goes in, and it’s simply fascinating. Natural hair is too versatile. 🙂

Knowing: that there’s so much good energy that’s around waiting for us to let it in. When you let go of the negative vibes, and the unneccesary shenanigans, God opens doors. All you need to do is let Him do His work and the rest will flow through.

Thinking: of investments and a lot of things finance. You know that feeling you get in your gut that tells you to stop putting your money where your mouth is? (Literally) 😀 Well, it’s been on my mind for a minute, and is clearly still on my mind.

Feeling: hella positive. My favourite time of the year (save for my birthday) is coming through and I cannot hold in my excitement for the good energy that is synonymous with December.

Bookmarking: Food blogs, because stealing ideas and what not…and also, photography videos…how to get the best shot regardless of whether or not you have a camera. Dear phone, you’re going to be used and abused.

Opening: My pinterest page lately. Hmmm, dusts off cobwebs. 🙂

Giggling: At Kevin Hart’s what now and Lip Sync Battle as well. Yoooooo. Lupita showed us the truest Kenyan moves there. Seen so much of it in Westie. Go Lupita.

Eating: oven roasted sweet potatoes with cayenne pepper, salt and black pepper. Just om nom nom nom nooooooom.

(Craving: Bacon and bacon and bacon and pork chops and more bacon.)

I realized that taking stock is an interesting version of counting your blessings. So keep counting your wins and keep an eye out for opportunities. And really spread out the good vibes like the wind does with the dust.

 

That’s it from my end of the globe.

From a cool corner of Nairobi,

With life, love, sun and positive vibes(and a hint of chocolate cupcakes),

Let the good energy flow.

.theafricangirl.

*Mapenzi.Love*:)

 

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Who or What is a Writer?


Hey my doves.

I’ve been receiving so much positivity from so many readers and from life in general, it’s amazing. So here I am, back at it again with the blog posts. I hope y’all have been well.

Who / What Is A Writer?

writer

The other day, well more like last month (Happy New Month guys, it’s finally the middle of the year)….so anyway, the other day I was picking up a hamper from somewhere, and the lady I met up with was first, really friendly and secondly, the sweetest human being ever. You know those random things you get into on social media and then the punch line is win a free hamper or something of the sort? Well that’s what this was about. Okay, the point of that back story isn’t so that you can finally see how much time I spend on the internet.

With this sweetheart, let’s call her Mo, she’s the social media manager at company X. Mo randomly asks me a question about what I do, well possibly because I was rocking up to her office at 2 in the afternoon, dressed in jeans, a vest and a sweater. I asked her to guess what I do. Here’s where it got interesting. She shoots me a scrutinizing look, like top to bottom kinda look then she she just says, “You look like a writer. Like one of those creatives that can sit behind a desk and put words on a screen and have people enjoy what you write.”

What? Me? A Writer? So I asked her “Why do you think I look like a writer? Is it the way i’m dressed? How I sound when I talk?” Mo said that it was in my eyes or something. I laughed so hard and asked her to get serious. Here we were, two complete strangers, carrying on a conversation like we were friends from way back when. She went on to say that it’s in my hands, I have a writer’s hands. It’s in how laid back I looked, it’s in the smile and of course the way I spoke to her with a certain command of English. So, I was flattered. If you know me, you know by now that flattery gets you more than 10 points with me. I then went on to tell her about the blog and that I write for fun, she read my latest posts on depression, looking all impressed (in my opinion). So if you’re reading this Mo, Hi. 🙂

We caught up a bit on how I came to blog and what else I do, she promised to buy some of my cupcakes, she followed the page on Instagram, joked about how she needs more energy like mine around the office, we exchanged numbers….New friend guys. Is this how networking works? I felt so accomplished on my drive home and so I got to thinking, What exactly is a writer?

Who/ What is a writer?

I always imagined a writer to be someone who lounges around with their laptop and/or tab, a mug of black coffee and glasses on their face(I picked this out of all the movies I’ve watched that have a writer in them), looking all dishevelled and slightly crazy. Words flowing through their entire aura being let out through their finger tips.

Kinda like Johnny Depp when he played Mort Rainey in Secret Window.

b5f920dfd2d4261f253d01441a60c3a0

Thank you google for making my life slightly harder. I put that in the search tab and it brought me a lot of psychological stuff about whether you’re a writer or someone who simply writes. This led me to read through a couple hundred websites about this and now here I am sharing my profound knowledge, if only just so it stops taking up space in my mind.

A writer is, simply put, is someone who can pen down their thoughts onto a piece of paper in a manner that exudes meaning and can be understood by anyone who reads it. Based on this definition, aren’t we all writers then?

a compulsion to write
a love of language
a grasp of grammar and idiom
a wide acquaintance with writing in different genres and from different historical periods
an enormous vocabulary, together with an instinct for choosing words appropriate to context and audience
the ability to write despite discouragement and distractions

So does this apply to you? I know they do to me.

Do your words make people feel involved? Do they evoke emotions and concern? Do the readers flow with the words, like they’re being serenaded by a violin? Do you itch to write almost every second of the day? Do you have multiple pages of multiple books filled with blood, sweat, tears and of course ink? Do you not worry about semantics like How should I begin or where should I begin or is my writing good enough?

Then you might possibly be a writer. Or someone who writes. Screw the internet and the labels though. If you think you’re a writer, then be what you may.

One must be drenched in words, literally soaked in them, to have the right ones form themselves into the proper pattern at the right moment.  ~Hart Crane

And I found this quote which simply spoke to me, wrapped up my “writer” physique in a beautiful little bundle of words and was gifted to my sight.

The writer writes in order to teach himself, to understand himself, to satisfy himself; the publishing of his ideas, though it brings gratification, is a curious anticlimax.  ~Alfred Kazin

 

Elvis Costello and The Attractions- Everyday I Write The Book

Everyday, Everyday, Everyday I write the book

Chapter One we didn’t really get along
Chapter Two I think I fell in love with you
You said you’d stand by me in the middle of Chapter Three
But you were up to your old tricks in Chapters Four, Five and Six

The way you walk
The way you talk, and try to kiss me, and laugh
In four or five paragraphs
All your compliments and your cutting remarks
Are captured here in my quotation marks

Don’t tell me you don’t know the difference
Between a lover and a fighter
With my pen and my electric typewriter
Even in a perfect world where everyone was equal
I’d still own the film rights and be working on the sequel

That’s it from my end of the globe.

From a cool corner of Nairobi,

with love and love and sun and positive vibes,

.theafricangirl.

*Mapenzi.Love* 🙂

Beliefs(1)


Hello there my doves.

It’s you? It’s you my man? You good?

Alright.

f-beliefs

BELIEFS(part 1):

What is a belief?

I had the pleasure of attending an amazing event a minute ago dubbed Restoration Experience. Dear ladies, if you need a touch of light in a schedule filled with too much dark, then you definitely need to be at the next one.

Anywho, the session was about beliefs.

A belief is something that you live by either as a result of something your experienced so you formed an attitude(positive or negative) toward it, or it’s a result of stories passed down and reiterated as you grow up(culture and tradition).

images

PART 1:

The Good girl vs Bad girl:

See, from the time you’re a young and very impressionable child, you heard the phrase, that’s not what good kids do, if you want to be a good girl, do this instead. To this you have two outcomes, strive to live up to that good girl image OR prove how much of a badass you can really be.

Once we have become the undoubtedly model “bad girl” or “good girl”, we still don’t stop to question the notion behind this belief. We may ask ourselves, why do I do this and that? And the answer remains, because it’s what good/bad girls are supposed to do.

We accept everything we are told without really questioning why the person telling us something, says that thing or believes it without a doubt.

I know you’re going over your lives and trying to decipher which one you are right now.

And now you’re trying to figure out the motive behind a multitude of your actions.

You recall that certain things were said to you by your mother, who was told by her grandmother and the family tree that extends further back. I don’t really remember the examples that the amazing facilitator used but thanks to experience, here’s some real life examples that I conveniently remembered as I typed this out.

Let’s say that you’re finally all grown up and have been doing the “bad stuff” i.e smoking cigarettes or drinking on the regular. You see, we do most of these things for our own pleasure, or rather, that’s the mindset I have when I dive into many of the things I do. So if you’re struggling to do them in secret because you don’t want to ruin the good girl image, You don’t want to be seen by the parents, your siblings, your circle, then to what end is whatever it is that you do?

The flip side works as well. If you do something on the regular just because you want others to see you as the bad girl, is it really working for you?

I’ve had the honour of speaking with a couple of people who have told me their struggles and with their permission, I can use their examples on here. One of the girls told me that the only reason she goes out, isn’t to have fun, but to prove to her mother that she’s that bad girl she’s always insisted on her being. You see, the notion that she’ll never be a good girl, pushed her to believe in it even when there was no premise or cause behind this belief. And now, she finds herself in the wrong crowd, always seeking an out but with the way her mind is set up, she’s trapped.

This other dime piece said that she has more tattoos than the fingers on both hands, ranging from full back, to thighs, to ribs to just about any spot on her body that she can hide comfortably with everyday clothing. I asked her whether her parents knew about it and she said that they didn’t. She had asked about it once and was out-rightly told that tattoos are for the girls who don’t know what direction their life is headed. Now you tell me, what damage is this doing to a kid who knows what they want in life and are working towards it, but with tattoos, it automatically means failure? Yeah…she’s a “good” girl with the fam but to everyone else, she’s the girl with the inked bod.

What’s the point of living a “double” life?

good girl bad girl

Think about it.

If you find yourself struggling to be this “good girl” or this “bad girl” then question what makes you believe that that is how to do things. Question the “why?”.

Why do I do this? Is it because I have been told not to do otherwise by someone else or is it because I came to the conclusion based on my own knowledge, that I should be doing this?

I’m not saying question everything you do,,,because some of the things we do have made us who we are,

But if you’re in the struggle to uphold an image….my dove, you need to reevaluate something somewhere.

 

Learn to reason and realize that “WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT YOU IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM”.

prison

That’s part….: 1 of 4 :…. folks, I’ll probably put up all parts by the end of the week so brace yourselves.

Until then,

Have some Jessie J:

 

With love and love and oceans of Christmas spirit,

.theafricangirl.

*Mapenzi.Love* 🙂

My Circle(2)


So i’ve had a moment of deep and serious epiphany right now….Why didn’t I call that first post: My Circle(1) _______A Semi Circle? Sigh. I’m hopeless, non?

But it’s heeeeeeerrrrreeeeeeee. The moment sorry post you’ve all been waiting for.

One two, make a circle,

three four, a big circle.

A big circle like a sufuria.

*Memories anyone?*

MY CIRCLE:

In the last post there was a lot about knowing yourself yeah?

Now i’ll delve a little into the world of those in your circle. I can’t tell you what steps to take to choose because it’s life my dove. You need to navigate the ocean of people to catch the yacht before it drifts away with your essence in it.

(Don’t ask me to elaborate my sayings, just acknowledge that they’ve been said.)

The other day I went to a Creative Shindig called Fatuma’s Voice…stop drop and roll. I knew there was spoken word out there but yooooo!!!!!! A whole new level was discovered that eve-night.

The relevance of this statement isn’t for “my life is cooler than yours” shenanigans. It’s the people I came across that are of substance.

I found like-minded people, a select few that I wouldn’t mind getting together for deeper discussions about life and all that it has to offer.

Who is in your circle?

joel osteen

1. Do you have similar goals in mind?

You need to figure out whether or not these elements of your circle have a similar goal in mind. This doesn’t mean that they need to be studying to be great lawyers just like you are or they want to be brilliant hackers so you also need to understand the deeper layers to Java and C++ just to be in their crowd.

I’m talking about success.

Are they motivators or demotivators at the right time? Would they let you know how hard they are working to achieve a certain goal? Are your conversations also inclusive of what you’ll be doing once you graduate and not just about how much you need to go out for a couple of drinks because it’s been a while?

Do they openly tell you when they think an idea you have in mind isn’t going to add up to much and if so, do they give an alternative or do they just tell you “You’re going to fail” and walk away leaving you down in the dumps?(I shall share more about this in a few paragraphs).

Do the elements of your circle only talk about their dreams and how they wish they had certain things yet they do nothing about it so many years down the line? I’m not saying dreams are not valid(seriously, check out the post about dreams, HERE-It’ll be ours) However, there’s a difference between daring to dream and dreaming to dare, the steps you take toward achieving your dreams are what count the most really. I have a friend (a couple of friends actually) that have dreamt of being pilots since they were younger, and the steps they’re taking to get to that level, yo! The validity of Dreams is only palpable in the direction of your actions.

2. Does your circle put you down in order to build themselves up?

surround yourself

Recall the statement about negative comments/ criticism somewhere up there? Let’s deal with it.

They say that “You know you’re doing something great when there’s people trying to dissuade you from pursuing it.” This can clearly be taken out of context but humour me for now.

I know there’s people we keep in our lives just because of the length of time we’ve known them for(Don’t shamelessly ask me about how I had earlier said that I form ties for life). Some of these people are the “Let’s see if she’ll fail type”. Sad but true.

If you have people in your circle who constantly bring in the negative. The nagging conscience that never brings any good fortune afterwards. The type that see you as competition, in what race? I have yet to figure it out but competition no less.

How long will you let yourself be put down just so they’re comfortable?

I call it comfortably toxic relationships.

There’s only so long you can go with blocking their thoughts and comments out but do you want to end up regretting it a few years down the line after you’ve missed countless opportunities to grow? Because we are aiming to grow I should hope? To be better versions of ourselves each day.

I read this post on one of my random, few and wide in between, facebook browse-capades(not a real word but deal with it). It was about a girl, I think, who has a friend that verbally attacked her and when an observer was offering her comfort as she shed her tears of hurt, all she said was that “It’s OK. She didn’t mean it.” (Found it: Elizabeth Gilbert authored this little tale…so if you have the time and patience, do check her Facebook page for interesting posts that focus on life and living it.)

How coincidental is it that I spotted that just as I’m compiling this post about circles and semi-circles?

Point of all this is that, if you have to keep coming to someone’s defence for how sourly they treat you, then my dove, is there a point to keeping that negative energy in your life? Error is to human just green is to the leaves of a tree but even during the summer, these same leaves turn yellow and brown….so you shouldn’t stick to the errors of your ways.

let go

3. Do you allow yourselves to grow?

I keep repeating the same words: growth and energy. I hope I don’t sound like a broken record here.

In life, the social nature of a human being dictates that there will always be a desire to change; be it yourself, your career, your mind, your life, your friends. So it only goes to predict that somewhere along the line, a rift can show up in a friendship when this desire comes along. Would your circle allow you to spread your wings and be part of yet another circle? Or will they pull a “No new friends” / “It’s them or us” or shun you when you let them know about the other circle?

you can't sit with us

You can’t sit with us

(first off dear internet, who did this? secondly, how cool is this?)

Do circles make you a better person? Do they tear you down before building you up? Do they act as a barrier between yourself and the growth potential that is budding within you?

(p.s remember multiple parts aka series vibe I have going on here…do expect another i.e. the finale of this My Circle series soon.)

Second instalment. Watch this space my doves.

Hellos and How are yous…I skipped this at the beginning. I’m sorry *hugs*

**The Circle of Life***

From a cool little corner of Nairobi,

with love and love and friendly vibes galore,

.theafricangirl.

*Mapenzi.Love*

My Circle (1)


Hello my doves.

Temporary hiatus over…dealing with life is kinda difficult non? But alas, we gotta do what we gotta do.

How are you all?

Amazing and filled with positive energy I hope? Cooler than the frosting on my cupcakes is what I am.

I’ve been reading about this alot really. My eyes just happen to be drawn to these articles about friendships and living life and circles and I figured, it’s a sign. I’ll write about it and see how that goes. So, here we are.

Happy July my doves.

MY CIRCLE:

A circle is defined in the dictionary of the English language as:

cir·cle
ˈsərk(ə)l/
noun
noun: circle; plural noun: circles; noun: cir.; noun: circ.
a round plane figure whose boundary (the circumference) consists of points equidistant from a fixed point
  (the center).

It can also be defined by “us new-age kids” as the people who you surround yourself with…which coincidentally, is also in the dictionary as follows:

cir·cle
ˈsərk(ə)l/
noun
a group of people with shared professions, interests, or acquaintances.
“she did not normally move in such exalted circles”
synonyms: group, set, company, coterie, clique;

**This is not turning into English 101 so please, calm your body organs.

Jim Rohn said that You are the average of the 5 people you spend most of your time with.

jimrohn_

Circle:

Like I said, I’ve been reading all about company lately. Pretty interesting and eye-opening articles that are bookmarked, read and consequently deleted or forgotten.

foolsaccompany fools

To figure out your circle, you need to clear up a couple queries:

~Who are You?

You know in order to make friends, you have to sell yourself to someone in a certain way. We all know about first impressions right? The impression you give off, determines who gets roped into the attraction game of friendship.

I attended a class that talked about the 30 second elevator pitch. Basically, you’re in a corporate environment and you happen to get onto the same elevator as the CEO of the company. With an average of 30 seconds till you get to your floor or their floor, what information can you give up to leave a lasting impression? A friendship basically starts on the same grounds I guess. You have a few seconds of eyeing each other up before even one word leaves your mouth…Will what spews from your mouth be enchanting enough to drag people into your life or repel them?

My body is attracted to your body but when you speak, my brain gets angry

My body is attracted to your body but when you speak, my brain gets angry

How do you culture the right circle? Actually, how do you culture the right anything? Know Yourself first….or rather, know your 4 selves as I had stipulated in an earlier post, HERE. The beginning of a union starts with one person; that person needs to at least have a semblance of themselves before getting into the union.

think to be

~What type of energy do you project?

This goes hand-in-hand with the “Knowing yourself”.

If you constantly think negative or do negative things, then you attract that exact energy towards yourself. Ever wonder why sometimes when you feel pushed beyond the threshold of what you can acceptably handle, and you think about not being able to succeed, you start to notice the little things the people in your circle do that lead them and are now leading you to a certain end? Sorry, did that make any sense? In simpler terms, negative attracts negative just as positive attracts positive…*ignoring all you physics majors…life isn’t physics bro. Don’t give me that opposites attract narrative.*

When you’re positive, more so in your thoughts, you start to notice the compliments, you start to take in the brightness of the sun even when there is an absence of warmth, you begin to realize that there’s more than enough things in the lives of those in your circle that you need to appreciate more often.

Also, you realize and can clearly identify what you want from a friendship and what your circle wants from you.

energies

~Short term? Long term? Term?

What are your short term goals? What are your long term goals? Where do you see yourself in five years?

Sorry, I was watching Think Like A Man today and these lines are stuck in my head.

Any who, realize that some circles have a shorter lifespan than others. It’s always up to you to figure out just what that span is. I’ll take the example of guys who drink. You have probably changed drink-circles enough times, because at one point or another you realize that hey! this is not one to last for after this round, or after this period.

Always know the lifespan.

I’m a friend lover. I tend to insist that once were friends, you can’t get rid of me. I’ll be around you in whatever capacity. You can’t start something with the notion that it won’t last because now that you’ve sent it out to the universe, then it won’t last. It’s like doing an exam and thinking about how you’ll fail, well it’s no surprise when you do fail even though you had made the effort to study. Your mindset controls everything you do.

Always figure out when it’s time to sever ties even when your heart doesn’t feel up to the task. You don’t sit in a sinking ship because you know you can hold your breath under water.

_____End of_____

______Part One______

This is a multi-part kind of post.

A circle holds so much information. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket they say. >>Irrelevant maybe<<

 

In the meantime, here’s that lion king jam that gives you all the good vibes:

***The Circle of Life***

From a cool little corner of Nairobi,

with love and love and friendly vibes galore,

.theafricangirl.

*Mapenzi.Love* 🙂

What makes you tick?


Olla my lovelies.

As always, i’m late at this…blame it on writer’s block…or it’s because anything I’ve put down the last couple of tries didn’t have enough soul to it.

I’m a perfectionist or I have slight OCD…so if something doesn’t look right…and it’s the work of my hands then I don’t feel it proper to share with anyone else. Like when my cupcakes backfire, i’ll bake more until I get the perfect batch for selling…well,,,perfect in my eyes.

I’m one of those guys that would probably go back and correct an assignment…long after I handed it in and received my grade. It’s a good and yet bad thing but such is life I suppose. C’est ma vie,,,et ma vie est belle.

Oooh…where are my manners? How are y’all? Good Awesome Amazing Extraordinarily Enjoying life? I do hope so.

Well, Writer’s Block? Bye Felicia.

My better half conscience constantly reminds me to upload content on the blog. So here we are now…finally figured out what to write.

WHAT MAKES YOU TICK?

Not as impersonal as you think....here's my wrist guys

Not as impersonal as you think….here’s my wrist guys

Tick? No not that blood sucking pest( which reminds me…do you remember that PowerPuff Girls episode that had that weird thought-sucking villain?)

But yes, tick.

To tick…if taken literally based on the workings of a clock…means to move.

So my content is mostly going to be based on trying to figure out what makes people to be moved to do something, to reach out, to strive to succeed…to live.

I asked this to le workmates recently and seeing as they are IT people,,,few words were exchanged. But I generally figured out what made them choose to code and deal with software, hardware and technology.

One said,

“I want to fix things. I figured that seeing as I can’t fix people, then i’d rather fix something non-living. If I can sit down for hours taking apart and putting together a computer, over and over, I cultivate my skills of being patient enough to deal with people.”

The other one said,

“I like challenges. If I work on something that won’t cause my hands to get clammy or my thoughts to go on overdrive…why should I do it? I do it because it’s proven to be an interesting challenge.”

 

When you surround yourself with people who know what drives them, don’t you get inspired to express your own driving factor?

 

They say passion is the greatest driver of them all.

He drives with such elegance and intensity that it’s pretty difficult to ignore his bulky frame when he steps into your thoughts. He takes charge where it matters and takes you to the edge…(yes, we’re still talking about Passion).

passion

so ticks huh?

 

– Am I comfortable with what I am doing?

This doesn’t necessarily always mean settling for less…or giving up on striving for something because an easier option came up. It’s basically about finding an interest in the path you’ve chosen. So Are you comfortable with what you’re doing?

 

What are your short term goals? 

  What are your long-term goals?

– How much could I have?

What is your end after all the work and struggle?

Is it your degree?

Is it the amount of money in your account? If yes, then in order to get to those 10 digit balances, how much work are you willing to put in and without giving up the second things start looking up for you?

If it’s in the pursuance of your dreams…are you willing to put your life on hold albeit for a little while to see it through? You suddenly keep getting free tickets to stuff and networking events just a few weeks before a deadline…would you attend?

Allow yourself to dream about how much you could have, decide whether you are ready to have that and then go for it.

in the end

– What motivates you?

Umm…Kelly Rowland is not an appropriate answer here.

As a human being, there’s always a million and one things running through our minds at any given moment.

Let’s do this…as you read this, think about something that happened that awakened a need to do something or follow through to the end…

Think about it and how it got your brain juice flowing. > Remember the post about dreams? <

And then, think about something else that made you feel like quitting just as soon as you started…What about it put you off that much?

There’s a drive, a tick that was there in the motivated one that is missing in the other scenario, yeah? If you could figure that out and tap into that potential…would you? If you found out that yeah, this emotion or this item makes me want to achieve something,,,you would grab it and never let it go I assume.

images

– Have I done enough for myself?

Ok…this is almost starting to look like some self-help blog, non?……..back to the question at hand.

I’m a huge advocate for discovering what makes you feel discontent.

  • Figure out what leaves your successful leap not seem as amazing as you would have liked.
  • Discover that which makes you yearn for something else.
  • If you could do something more than is expected of you, would you?

I have mild OCD of sorts therefore, it’s very difficult to sit back and be completely satisfied with the things I give out. (As I pointed out in the beginning of this piece) With this great power comes great responsibility. The desire to be discontent with everything I do or feel…it’s great you know.

To reach past that self-disapproval and accept my own creations…it’s a challenge that I’m not sure I’m willing to overcome.

 

Last Question:(Surprise,,,i’m a woman human and we always have a lot of questions to ask given the chance)

– What really makes you tick?

You need to know what you want to do in order to properly respond to this question.

want

 

So guys, what  makes you tick?

You should think about it, take a second…matter of fact you should take four.

Let’s stop doing things for the mere sake of doing them but let’s do them because we really crave the achievement.

respo

 

From a cool corner of Nairobi,

with dreams, and desires and cupcakes galore,

.theafricangirl.

*Mapenzi.Love* 🙂

 

Why we lose friends in our 20s…


*some Emeli Sande to serenade your hearts and minds perhaps?*

I remember when I wrote 10 things every 20-something girl should know and how you, my amazing readers, thought that it was an interesting read.

Well here’s another one of those list thingamajigs my lovelies.

Hello my darlings.

Have I missed simply talking to you? YES.

Have I missed ranting and raving about anything and everything? YES.

Have I missed the love an affection that comes with writing to an audience that is not in my line of sight? HELL YEAH!!!

So let’s get to it then, shall we?

WHY DO WE LOSE FRIENDS IN OUR 20s?

(I insist on 20s because it’s at this stage of growth that we realize that well…life happens and people happen as well.)

1. BECAUSE LIFE HAPPENS

1. People change.

Everyone including yourself is changing; actually growing up. In this age-decade, we really have no strong idea of who we are so we look for what makes the most sense at the moment. We gravitate towards what seems to befit our lives and makes us satisfied so If there exist people who don’t fit with the mould, they are taken off the list; we bid them adieu.

heart and life

2. People move.

Sometimes, our friends relocate. I don’t mean to a town or another city that’s a bus/train ride away; i’m talking country and/or continent. Hard as it is to accept, at one point or another, you have to come to terms with the fact that you’ll probably never live in the same city or country ever again. So you need to decide whether or not the friendship is worth continuing.

3. Lifestyle changes.

There’s always that crowd of people who were/ are your turn-up buddies. So if at one point in time we decide to get off that daily turn-up and getting mashed any time you get the chance, it pretty obvious that the friendship will end on its own terms. Your “crew” will possibly refer to you as boring or “grandma”  the latter of which shouldn’t even be an insult. Who wouldn’t want to be as wise and as well-loved as a grandmother?

You get what I mean here though.

4. Relationships.

This obviously has to make an appearance. It’s all about being human. When one party ends up in an amazing relationship, surrounded with love and eventually encase themselves in that cocoon, the friendship will suffer. This is due to resentments and a feeling of being left out because you no longer spend time together. Most times, this should NOT be an obstacle, unless maybe the new significant other expressly tells them not to hang out with you…in which case, just wait it out. If, however, this is not the scenario, I believe it would be best to simply fade away and discover newer paths. The time spent resenting could be put to much better use.

live and love

5. Schedules.

I know all about schedules. This is such a scapegoat of a reason that you should be ashamed for even using this one. It may only apply to the weaker friendships though. If this has been the force behind a friendship break-up then simply realize that whoever that friend was, simply was in your life out of sheer convenience. It’s sad but true. Different/ busy schedules would never lead to loss of friends simply because they’ll always be a phone call or text away. My best friend knows this all too well.  😀 😀

6.  Fights

They happen all the time. People get annoyed, tears may be shed, fists may fly faster than you can say theafricangirl, feelings get hurt, emotions reign supreme and egos…these huge egos get bruised=> The usual casualties of a fight. The only way this would lead to the severing of a -ship is if too much time passes before the reconciliation process happens. You see, in earlier years of our lives (high school, middle/primary school, kindergarten) if you get into a fight with your friend, you’ll eventually have to hash it over because you’ll be very likely to see them sooner rather than later. In our 20s, it’s an entirely different ballgame. You may choose not to go out and find the said friend in order to make like Koffi Annan and restore the peace through verbal communication and more often than not, you’ll not cross paths in years. After a while, some regret will check in, but by then it may be too late to make amends so you have to let the -ship sail for good.

7. simply because they are toxic. hazardous.

toxic

Well, I think this last one is pretty self-explanatory. If your friend encourages you to do things that you normally would never even think of doing, to be someone who everyone else sees as different(and not the good kind of different), who leads to your slow but sure destruction, who doesn’t really build you up but instead removes the very foundation on which you stand,,,you my dear, have some toxic beings in your life, and it would be completely positive for you to let them go.

TOXIC- Yael Naim

how coolio is this rendition of Britney Spears’ toxic? Love it.

That’s a couple of the reasons I could think of.

P.s. seeing as one man’s meat is another man’s poison, I believe y’all should understand that you possibly fall into one or more of these categories listed. So don’t think yourself as the one that’s always being wronged, we wrong others as well. (let he who is without sin be the first to cast the stone).

live and live

All my love,

Hellos and Goodbyes and How are you doings?,

From a cool little corner of Nairobi,

.theafricangirl.

*Mapenzi.Love* 🙂

Acceptance


“Raise you like a phoenix”

(Fall Out Boy_ Phoenix)

.

Saying NO is always the easier option.

Choosing to think of the negative is always simpler.

Deciding to pick on the weak links is closer, right?

Opting to avoid the risks,

Digging holes in the ground to hide our faces.

Dark over light always wins in some people’s view.

I never understood why…

Until very recently that is.

It’s easier to let your thoughts consume you

And I realized that thinking is much like a never ending spiral.

One thought leads to another and one after that and it spirals out of control.

We are human, yeah?

We love to be in control of anything we come into contact with.

We are determined to try and alter nature to a form that we can rule.

And what happens when that doesn’t go according to plan?

We simply give up or deny or do anything that is beyond the positive.

We choose to deny simply because it’s harder to accept that which goes not according to our vision.

We pick dark over light because we are somehow inclined to that which gives comfort to our failure…

…because misery loves company.

We opt to seek solitude.

So the stages go from denial to over-thinking to self-loath to depression…

But isn’t it amazing how we’re supposed to rise up and accept our fate and move on?

socrates

Fate. Interesting word this one.

Do you believe in fate?

Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don’t.

We control the outcome of our actions,

And with that said, we also determine our own destiny.

If we choose to live based on the negatives then who are you to complain when you’re labelled a pessimist?

Or if it’s the positives, an optimist would be your title.

So I decided that in acceptance of a situation, you find relief.

Which would you rather: relief or that long downward spiral of negativity?

 

Your attitude is everything.

Your mistakes don’t make you neither do they break you.

They build your character.

They’re like busted prototypes that point out where you went wrong

so you get up, dust yourself off and try again.

 

ACCEPTANCE.

 

…(part 4 of 4)…

Aaliyah – Try again.

 

So I was supposed to explain what prompted this four part series, non?

I will refrain from doing so because someone once said that:

“You should talk about your blessings more than you talk about your problems”

Sometimes we sit down and examine our lives and concentrate on the few things that put us down albeit for a minute. We forget to appreciate the ever encompassing good in our lives and tend to put ourselves down way too much. We never realize that we have the power to rise above the negative…be it from within or from without.

I realized way back when that if you put down the thoughts that seemingly cause you unrest, whether on paper or virtually, your mind tends to find a release. So write the thought down and forget about it.

And with that, let’s do this acceptance shindig lovers and friends.

____Of the few things we can control, let’s take the lead and show life that we are stronger. _____

Positive vibes is the mantra.

Positive Thoughts,

Positive Feelings,

Positive Lives.

b405915144d4d39a73652b77f102997f

***P.s.  y’all should check out Gorgon City’s SIRENS album…it’s the beezneez***

 

All my love,

Hellos and Goodbyes and How are you doings?,

From a cool little corner of Nairobi,

.theafricangirl.

*Mapenzi.Love* 🙂

 

Always A Lesson


.

I’m pacing up and down…

Same spot no progress.

The wear can be seen visibly yet i choose not to move.

I’m comfortable here.

I’m kinda sorta used to it here.

I’m not ready to move forward, back or sideways.

I won’t jump.

I won’t sleep nor lay down.

Is this the famous lack of motivation?

Or am I just really lazy?

Some say that you have to fight for those things that you want.

Fight the good fight.

That for which you fight, ought to be right.

Be the achiever that you’ve set your mind to be.

But what if the mind is not in it until it’s too late?

Until the opportunity is lost in the abyss like ink in water?

What then?

Because you can never be fully prepared for the failure bit.

Never be fully attuned to your expectations being shattered.

Noone really picks you up once you’re down and out.

But then again, noone tells you that you should be ready for disappointment.

Noone tells you not to be too hard on yourself.

Noone tells you that you should expect to fail though.

All they and yourself preach is that “i’ll get it the first time.”

And when reality checks in…

You want to run and hide.

But truth is, mistakes are made for a reason.

until youre broken

Learning from them is always the hardest part.

I have to put out my flame of pride to pick myself up off the ground?

I have to sit down and reflect on that failure?

I have to find a way to get back up?

With my own determination to push me forward?

Well, that’s not so hard.

Well, that’s not too bad.

Never a failure always a lesson right?

never

 

So learn I will…

Long arduous process but it must be done.

A million steps but all of them we must follow.

In order to live, we must grow.

In order to grow, we need to let go.

In order to let go, we need to know.

that,

In order to reap we must first sow.

failure

. . . (part 3 of  4) . . .

 

***Afterglow  by Wilkinson

Even though the dancing’s done,

Don’t worry cause the night is young

Who cares where we go

We’re ready for the afterglow.

 

All my love,

Hellos and Goodbyes and How are you doings?,

From a cool little corner of Nairobi,

.theafricangirl.

*Mapenzi.Love* 🙂

 

Another “Vantage” Point


rabbit hol

 

i’ve been mentally abused.

My abuser? Someone that I know.

Someone that I see in the mirror each time I look into it.

Someone that i’m living life for but seems unappreciative.

Someone whose thoughts warrant my listening.

Someone whose approval I crave.

….That someone is ME.

I hold enough power to destroy myself from within.

I stand at the best vantage point to do this and I do take advantage.

Because there’s no better way to destroy something than to kill it internally.

Kill is a strong word.

But it has to be said as is.

Am I too hard on myself?

Yes, I AM.

 

sword thoughts

How do you overcome this?

You can’t block out your thoughts can you?

So sometimes you end up lashing out at someone else;

Because they’ve said something that sounds insanely close to what you’ve been thinking,

Because they’re doing something that brought you back into the shell that is your thoughts,

Because they’ve finally discovered what a “nutcase” you are,

Because you’ve decided to link everything in a broad network of interconnected yet unrelated thoughts,

Because you’ve decided to do as they tend to call it “Overthinking”,

Because once something is put out into the universe, it can’t be taken back,

Because you would rather live in your own world than let other people in on your suffering,

Because you would rather not be the proverbial burden,

Because this thing called life always just goes on….

hanging on

thoughts

*Reader Discretion. Some of the pieces i put up will leave you on the throes of a breakdown. But then again, once I’m done,  you will learn to realize that the little things to you tend to be the big things to other people.  Pace Yourselves.*

(part 2 of 4)

Like i said,, at the end of part 4,,,it shall be explained. so Indulge your minds …or not… 🙂

 

and just listen to this random song that is so coolo and hippy.esc:

 The Head And The Heart – Lost In My Mind

 

All my love,

Hellos and Goodbyes and How are you doings?,

From a cool little corner of Nairobi,

.theafricangirl.

*Mapenzi.Love* 🙂